July 17, 2007
Local Cheapass Hijacks Capitol Metro Bus to Airport
Many of us have been confronted with the same challenge when trying to get to Austin-Bergstrom International Airport: "How can I save money by bumming a ride off a friend or relative and not have to take a cab or park at the airport?" It's really not that far of a drive, especially when compared to other cities, but still, it'd be nice if there was a cheaper (or free) way to get to the airport without have to ask anyone to do you a favor. Yeah, usually there's that really loyal friend who'll always offer you a ride to the airport, but you always feel a little guilty for asking so much of him...unless you give him gas money or something, but, let's be honest, that never happens.
But worry no more, jetsetting pennypincher! For at last the timeless riddle of reaching the Austin airport without bumming rides, paying five or ten bucks per day for long-term parking or paying $20 for a cab ride is now solved! The answer: Just hijack a city bus!!
Last Saturday, one local genius Jonathan Breaux was charged by Austin police with three counts of aggravated kidnapping after boarding a Capital Metro bus and demanding that the driver take him straight to the airport. Hello? Efficiency? Cost-effective solution? And you don't owe anyone a favor for taking you to the airport. This is good.
Two teenagers were on the bus when Breaux boarded. According to the these witnesses, Breaux, 37, yelled dirty words at the bus driver and told her not to stop until they'd arrived at the airport. Upon arriving at the terminal, Breaux allegedly just walked off the bus to catch a flight without even saying "thank you." Feeling used, the driver immediately flagged down some police officers and had Breaux arrested. As it turns out, there are a few laws prohibiting what Mr. Breaux did. Okay.
On second thought, maybe it's better just to take a cab.
*Image of suspect Jonathan Breaux courtesy of Austin-American Statesman.
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I can't help but be reminded of this video while reading the story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX8_M-KI7IQ
Dude.
The Airport Flyer costs 50 cents. Seems like a better way to ride the bus.
did you just say "okay"?
okay
That's great that you guys think it's funny that hijacking a Cap Metro bus is as easy as pie. Really wonderful. So nice to know that if my brains get blown out by some nutcase that decides to take a 5 to San Antonio you'll be right there on the sidelines having a giggle fit.
Not only is the airport flyer 50 cents, so is the 350. Both go to the airport. This guy was just nuts.
.50 > free
I bet he got a ride back downtown for free too. This guy is craaaaaafty.
it's a shame when a nice guy like that finally gets in touch with his transit rage.
Dude, have you ever actually taken the airport flyer? It's one of the only hour+ bus rides in Austin.
Jonathan Breaux huh? I wonder if he is another Katrina evacuee?
I personally have taken the airport flyer on several occasions. Takes just about as long as a cab...depending on where you get on, of course. A LOT of bus rides will be more than an hour depending on how far you are riding, obviously.
I don't get it. How is this "aggrevated kidnapping"? He supposedly used vulgar language and said not to stop til they got to the airport. Were there any threats? Did he have a weapon, or is being a big scary black man using bad language enough to constitute a mortal threat? What was the aggrevating circumstance? Is it that he "interfere[d] with the performance of any governmental or political function"?
As long as the buses run on time, everything will be fine.
Actually, for those of us with transit rage, Mr. Breaux is a militant hero.