News Bits: Free Root Beer Floats!

We expect this to be the most popular news bits ever, as well as the best day ever, since everybody's favorite drive-in eatery (Sonic, duh) is giving away FREE root beer floats tonight from 8pm till midnight. Go ahead, locate every Sonic in town and drive around getting free floats until you can't drink root beer floats anymore. This is such a big deal, even Forbes wrote about it. And if you don't get your fill of root beer floats tonight, the drinks will be just 99 cents each for the rest of June, making them an affordable and delicious summer treat. Yum!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled news programming...

• Unemployed? Try Oslo. Not sure if they have root beer floats, but they're definitely big on beer.
• Dude with Scandinavian name exposes major Apple conspiracies. Steve Jobs just laughs maniacally.
• Here's one way to set a wheelchair speed record.
• Speaking of speed, dogs are the new Segways.
• Maine attempts to steal our thunder, officially become the new chainsaw massacre state.
• Knocked Up movie idea apparently stolen from book by Canadian author.
• Parents join Facebook; kids freak out. TISNF!
• Immigration bill delayed; U.S. waffles on reducing emissions. Mmm, waffles.