Craigslist: Missed Connections

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One would think that this would be the week to make connections, with people trying to find quick a hookup, even if just for that one evening. But there aren't many Valentine's Day desperate connections to be had--just a lot of normal desperate connections. So get out there and take a peek, as we bring you the best of last week's Missed Connections...

Stupid Cad Girl Seeks Missing Purse. Lost During Debauchery

Although Jim Beam is definitely mi hombre , he did me dirty Monday night. I got so drunk I completely lost my purse. Now, this was my bar purse, so it had a unique assortment of objects therein. You know, the things girls need for a night out (this is not a joke): - Slingshot - Pink pocket rocket vibrator - Shank - Bike patch kit - Wallet containing $20ish dollars and ID picture of girl with bright blue ponytail, looking dumb and sheepish, wearing Pittsburgh Pirates t-shirt. Initials N.A.T. Some of these things have sentimental value (the vibrator and I have shared some good times),so a reward is being offered. Its more than the paltry sum within my wallet. I really want my ID and stuff back. The purse itself was small, black, suede, fringey (I know, Im tacky. Whatever.) I lost it within either a) The Jackaloupe b) Casino El Camino c) That shady Designated Rape Parking spot behind the head shop, where I did not NOR would ever consider smoking weed. Thank you and goodnight. * Location: 6th Street

Missed Connection Short Shorts - Things You Need to Know

I'm building a time machine... - 30

...but there are so many variables in time travel. Plus, you then isn't you now.

John Doe

Your a great person.I want the best for you.You make me horny!

My roommate - w4m

...makes me hot.

Missed Connection INTENTIONAL - 32

Dearest Psycho Missed connection intentional, Please lose the #. You are not someone I want to know

lI want out

had enough

That's it for this week. If we missed any of your favorites
just post them for us all to view. We'll be back next week with a new
round up. Until then, may you find Peace, Love and
Connections.

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Dear drunk man,

At 4:30 in the morning, my husband and I are usually asleep. Please excuse us for not hearing you come in. Also, we are tiling our kitchen floor, so we apologize that the dining room chairs and table tripped you in your drunken, darkened stupor. Finally, our apologies for not tidying up the bathroom before your visit...which is where my husband found you, and promptly escorted you back outside, while you pissed your stylish party clothes.
You see, this is our house, not yours. Perhaps it looks like your house, but I assure you it is not. You cannot just come in at anytime of the night you feel like. Yes, I understand our front door was unlocked. A mistake, not a "Give me your tired, your trashed, your stoned" beacon in the night. Please feel free to use our yard to "sleep it off" next time. However, you cannot come in our house anymore. We will make sure the door is locked next time.

P.S. My husband is very glad that he didn't club you to death with my old softball bat, because if you were dead, we could not laugh about your drunken visit.

Sincerly, the people whose house you were escorted from early this morning.

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Editor: Allen Y Chen
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