Last Week Around the -ISTs
Schieffer's Out of Gov Race
![True Stories Can Be Stranger Than Fiction [Extra Extra ]](http://austinist.com/assets_c/2009/01/nightskyline-thumb-110x110-53663.jpg)
True Stories Can Be Stranger Than Fiction [Extra Extra ]
Is anyone else tired of Christmas music yet, or is it just us? While eating Sushi one night last week we were forced to listen to Feliz Navidad. Give us a break. Some Bing Crosby or Sinatra music on Christmas Eve is fine, but when Sisqo has a holiday album out it's time to stop the madness. The point of this diatribe is to point out that it can be very hard to make a connection while having to listen to carols. So pick your connection locations wisely. Until then, feel free to enjoy the best of last week's Missed Connections...
Left side view mirror thief - w4m
My decapitated mirror cries out in agony for loss of its shiny blue civic body. You left no note explaining why/how the guillotine fell upon it. You made me cry. I cannot see out of the left side of my blue honda civic. Please be a kind hearted assassin and return it to me or pay me the appropriate amount. The Holidays are coming and you can't afford this bad energy sticking around. Let me know so I can save you. I only have $10 left in my life so I would love to help you get the stinky karma out. Thanks and please leave a note next time so I don't cry. * Location: South 1st
It's almost Christmas and you're making girls cry? What a jerk. There's at least one bastard out there getting coal in their stocking this year. You better get in touch and apologize, oh, and drop some cash in her stocking. Just a little holiday reminder to be a lot kinder. What goes around...
Retarded, or just into me? - m4w
Brunette in a red shirt and jeans? I saw you walk out of your show at Starbucks while looking my way. Were you trying to get my attention? Maybe I could be your Cutie Patootey! * Location: starbucks
Dude. Number one, the term is mentally challenged. Number two, our sister doesn't want to date you. Number three, you're retarded!
Blue Hummer3 on 135 this morning - w4m
Can anyone help me find this guy (or girl)? Would you ask him what it feels like to almost murder a human being? And kindly mention that just because my car is a third of the size and uses a third of the gas, doesn't mean I am invisible. Perhaps he could try looking in his rearview or sideview mirror, or looking over his shoulder, or using that signal light, before he decides to come into my lane. If you know this person please tell them I am still shaking from my near death experience. And I would like an apology. (Yes I realize this is unrealistic but a girl can hope). * Location: I35
Honey, some girls just don't know what to do with a hummer staring them in the face. It's nothing to be ashamed of. And we should all be aware by now that republicans just don't apologize. I'm sure that he was simply trying to secure your freedom. Using mirrors and signals would be giving in to the enemy. You should be THANKING him. Perhaps you're the terrorist?! Uh oh, think on that. Keep hope alive.
All my exes live in Texas - w4m
Cheezy title, I know, but I miss Willie (not Strait, however) and Barton and Curras and Stubbs and Texas and yes, even my exes. I miss this one commandeering my stereo and our after-the-fact booty calls. I miss that one sharing his book with me and our literally breathtaking conversations. I miss another one driving hours to see me and telling me I that saved him. I miss the only one who loved me and the only one I ever loved. Would I go back? To Texas: hell yeah. To any of my exes: not a chance. * Location: Chicago
The Doctor is in and we've seen this before. Yep, it's post-Austin remorse, probably mixed with some post-Austin malaise. It often happens when a transplant to chi-town isn't taking. There's only one thing that can help you, you're going to need a BBQ and Shiner injection stat. Take one queso each day with a Rita and call us in the morning.
I'm still waiting for my missed connection, jackass. * Location: San Marcos
Keep waiting punk. San Marcos is last on the holiday connections delivery schedule. And with a mouth like that you probably just made the naughty list. Whoops.
That's it for this week. If we missed any of your favorites
just post them for us all to view. We'll be back next week with a new
round up. Until then, may you find Peace, Love and
Connections.
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