Perry Nation Weeps

Ever wonder where all of that campaign money comes form each year? Who’s really running this state/country/etc? Well, to find out who’s got some of those most pull among politicians, you have to look no further than Texas’ own Bob Perry. The Houston homebuilder gave more money to candidates in the last election cycle than any other individual, according to a report issued by Texans for Public Justice.

The non-profit group, which believes campaign finance reform should be a top priority, reports that Perry spent $6.7 million on statewide and legislative campaigns. That seems like a lot of money to be spending on races in a state that has such a paucity of statewide Democrat office holders. In addition to his efforts in Texas, Perry spent $9.3 million on Republican candidates and committees around the country. His kids must be, like, “Damn, Dad!” We know we would.

Sadly, for Perry, his money spent on state legislative races around the country went to more losers than winners. Not surprisingly, however, the money he spent on Texas candidates turned out to work well for him, as those candidates won.

KLTV in Tyler reports that “Republicans got 92 percent of the money Perry contributed directly to candidates in Texas elections this year. Texas Governor Rick Perry -- who's no relation -- got the most with 380-thousand dollars [sic].”

We’re not saying there should be mandatory campaign finance reform or that whoever gives the most money gets the most face time with elected officials and often times writes de-facto legislation, but… there should be mandatory campaign finance reform or that whoever gives the most money gets the most face time with elected officials and often times writes de-facto legislation.

In addition to bank-rolling so many candidates in the last election cycle, Perry is also had a huge, green hand in floating Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the group that spent most of 2004 attacking John Kerry. Yet another Perry making us all proud to be Texans.

Reached for comment, Perry Nation (unaffiliated) President Rüp Müėller declared, “Tōday is a säd day for Perry Nation. All Croatian flags shall be flown at half-mast.” Asked if he was planning on resuscitating the image of the Nation, Mr. Müėller grumbled something about being “tähtälly trashed” and asked, “Are you?”