What Will We Buy Our Cousins for the Holidays Now?

Ohmygoddidyouhearaboutthebigmethbust
thatwentdownthismorning? Wherearewes’posetogetourshitnow? Whydoesthegovmenthavetobeallupinourshit!
Ihaven’teateninfourddaysandi’vegroundmy
teeth topowdernowthis?!

Authorities from the Texas DPS and DEA announced today that, following two years of investigations, they have busted a major meth distribution ring that spanned across several counties. And just before the holidays. Damn Scrooges!

So much for our alternative plan to eating turdukens and tofurkey until we fall deep into a turkey coma.
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