My Friend, Austinist: This Week's New Movie Releases!

Hey, did you all hear that Haley Joel Osment pleaded no contest to drunk driving and drug possession charges? Can you imagine being in an AA meeting with that kid who saw dead people? Man, he is totally that guy now. Sad.

Anyway, on to this week's new movie releases, which feature actors whose careers may or may not eventually take a turn for the worst!

*Flags of Our Fathers
Clint Eastwood's son makes his big-screen debut in this film directed by, uh, Clint Eastwood. How much would it suck to be Clint Eastwood's kid? You'll never be nearly as cool as your old man, bro. It's better to just give up now.

*Marie Antoinette
Kirsten Dunst was on "The Daily Show" last night supposedly doing press for this film, but she didn't make a convincing argument for it as she's one of the least interesting people on the planet. We'll recommend it anyway, because using modern music to promote films loosely based on French history is totally edgy.

*The Prestige
Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, and Scarlett Johansson? Man, magic never looked so hott!

Flicka
"So, we need a country music star to be in this film based on a beloved children's classic. Just because, you know, the talents of Alison Lohman and Maria Bello aren't enough. Plus, there's a horse in it."
"Uhh, George Strait?"
"No, he's been there, done that."
"Garth Brooks?"
"I'm still traumatized after the whole Chris Gaines incident. We need someone who is mild and bland and boring and yet inexplicably still has a following of fans."
"Tim McGraw?"
"Perfect."

Jaan-E-Mann
There's a summary for this Indian import on imdb.com, but it's so poorly written we're still not exactly sure what this movie is about. Life? Love? Overcoming heartache? Something like that.

*Austinist recommends.

Showtimes