Bun in the Oven: Would Smell As Sweet?

I did a highly unscientific survey of Austin area parents, and came up with a long list of honest to goodness names that current 5-and-unders call their own. We're talking about our future -- tomorrow's leaders -- and they've got quite an amazing variety of handles. How these names were arrived at almost always has a beautiful, unique story. For most of the folks I talked to, the top naming factors were commonness, family history, nicknameability, and relationship to the rest of the name. Here's what I learned.

Commonness
A predominant theme in baby naming is how common the name is. Everyone wants something "unusual but not too crazy" (to quote one of my sources). Indeed, one of the most powerful, time-sucking vortexes on the internet is the Baby Name Wizard. People want to give their kid a name that's personal, special, and not the same as two or three other ankle-biters in her kindergarten class. So they cruise over to the wizard, plug in the name, and see what story the historical data tells. Then they check out their own name...and their partner's name...their parents' names...their grandparents' names...their exes' names.... If you've never played with it before, the wizard will pull you in the same way Google Earth did the first time you looked at it, so you'd best just not click that link.

There are other excellent -- if less whippy -- resources for historical naming data, the best being the good ol' Social Security Administration. You can look up the most popular names by birth year, state, and decade. You can also see how the popularity of a name has changed over time. In the Lone Star state, the top five names last year were Emily, Mia, Madison, Ashley, and Emma; and Jose, Jacob, Joshua, Daniel, and Christopher. Nationally, they were Emily, Emma, Madison, Abigail, and Olivia; and Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, and Ethan. Looks like no matter how you shake it, Emily and Jacob will be the homecoming queen and king for the class of 2023.

Lastly, a bit of advice I've been asked to pass along: parents looking for something truly unique should scour pop culture before coming to a final decision. One of my sources selected a beautiful name...and then discovered there was a Sesame Street muppet with the same name. By the time Zoe hits middle school I'm sure it'll be a thing of the past, but it must have been a shock for her mama to learn that this carefully selected name is something her kid...and all her kid's friends...will hear pretty much every day for the first five years of their lives.

Family History
It's probably the hormones, but sentiment rides very high when you're naming your offspring. Almost all of the names we considered for my little bun were taken from our families' histories, and indeed we ended up naming her after my grandmother, Johanna, with a middle name, Margaret, taken from my husband's side of the tree. Family names tie your child to both her genealogy and her cultural heritage, and many people find this very appealing.

A related trend, and one that utterly baffles me, is the popular use of one particular ethnic group's historical names regardless of having any relation whatsoever to said culture. Not too long ago, it seemed that everyone wanted to give their kiddo a Welsh, Gaelic, or Irish name. Diving headlong into another temporal black hole, check out Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing. Their lengthiest entry in the Welsh section (When You're in Love, The Whole World's Welsh) is my favorite. Mind you, make sure you don't have any liquid in your mouth before embarking. And in all seriousness, one mama I talked to confessed to looking up name meanings on the internet...and then later learning that some of the definitions where "iffy." Again, no big tragedy, but frustrating nonetheless.

Nicknames and Middle Names
Some people want their kids to have a name that can easily be shortened. Others can't stand the thought of their little one being called by anything other than his given name, so they go to great lengths to select something spoof proof. I have no opinion either way, though I have noticed that the most ironclad name won't keep some kids from picking up a nickname, even if it's wholly unrelated to any portion of his full name. If he's a Scooter...then he's a Scooter. There's not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it.

To defend the anti-nickname set, however, their main gripe usually stems from having grown up with such a name and always being nicked without permission. Richard becomes Dick, even though he wants to go by Richard. Some old coot calls Elizabeth Liz, perhaps recalling the heyday of Liz Taylor, but seriously annoying her in the process. Along the same lines, it was universally agreed that calling a kid by her middle name, from the get-go, is a "pain in the ass". Having to correct teachers, well-meaning store clerks, and so on gets extremely tiresome. Furthermore, women who want to drop their first name and pick up their middle plus last when they get married require an act of congress. Seriously, it's not a straightforward process at all, and generally requires the paperwork for a full, legal name change.

Relationship to Rest of Name
This is where things get really fun. First of all, if you share your last name with a famous person, even if it's a generic enough last name, it's a bad idea to recreate the full name of someone well known, much less of their offspring. In other words, who wants to be the next Britney Spears? Or Apple Martin? Similarly, if you can make something funny with your last name...don't. I'd have loved to use my maiden name as the first name for a boy, but Holden Watters? I might as well send him to school in a diaper and crash helmet.

People are more creative with middle names, however. One woman I talked to used the middle name Lucia because it was "a purple flower that was blooming like crazy when we conceived her New Year's 2000." To me, that's pretty damn cool. Others used their wackier family names, a significant place name, or the mother's maiden name in the middle spot. It's kind of a free for all, but I should add that almost every mother, when asked to tell me her child's name, gave both first and middle, with the story behind each. Even though most people never use their middle name, it's definitely not a throw-away thing. After all, parents must consider...what if George becomes the president someday?

Today's Tots...Tomorrow's Troublemakers
If you're curious about what name you might be cursing when your daughter steps out on her first date in 10-20 years, or who you might be sizing up when your son brings home the apple of his eye, here're some bona fide names of some local enfant terribles. To me, it's an impressive list of nifty names, and goes to show what a groovy city we live in...but I am a tad biased.

Ahni, Aidan, André, Benjamin (Benji, Ben), Brooks, Cal, Cooper, Corin, Daniel, Davis, Elliot, Evan, Ilario (Rio), Jackson (Jack), Jago, Jeffrey, Joshua, Julio, Keon, Leo, Lucian, Mateo (Teo), Miles, Milo, Osiah, Owen, Quinn, Roan, Samuel (Sam), Seth, Theo, Timothy (Timmy), Van, Vincent, Zephyr

Astrid (Addie), Audrianne (Audri), Ava, Chia, Eden, Fiona, Georgia, Glynna, Grace, Greta, Hadley, Isabel, Johanna, Julia, Kaitlin (Katy), Karuna, Katherine (Kate), Laurel, Luna, Madeleina (Leina), Madison, Martinique, McKenna, Riley, Ruby, Ryanne, Shannon, Solstice, Stella, Sydney, Victoria (Tori), Zoe