News Bits!

- Like fake boobs and dyed hair, fake Ohio State vs. Texas tickets are out there to ruin your day.
- Clay Aiken of American Idol fame just might be President Bush's new pet.
- Former President Clinton is getting a pimp ride, a custom Mercury Mariner Hybrid surely outfitted with features that rival the Batmobile.
- Ladies, ladies. Your high heels are a death trap.
- A man's gun accidentally fired while he was in a Wal-Mart bathroom. At least the person in the next stall was in the right place to be pissing himself.
- McDonald's wins a lawsuit regarding the name of a tiny place called McCurry avoiding any further confusion. Thank God, we thought we'd never be able to tell the difference.
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