All the News That's Fake to Print: the Onion is Coming to Austin

It looks like we’ve finally made the big-time, Austin. America’s Finest News Source™, the Onion, has announced plans to bring its satirical genius to our fair burgh. Sure, reading the Onion online has always been a fun diversion from work, but there’s just something about holding the broadsheet in your hands, the caustic wit dripping from the page and running down your arms.

The Onion was born almost 20 years ago (1988) in the Austin-of-the-Upper-Midwest, Madison. You can now pick up The Onion in New York City, Chicago, Milwaukee, San Francisco, The Twin Cities and Denver/Boulder, and it recently expanded to Los Angeles and plans to hit the District of Columbia any day now.

According to a story on Austin360, “The Austin edition of the publication that calls itself ‘America's Finest News Source’ will have ‘hard-hitting news,’ an entertainment section and a local section with information on things to do in Austin, Onion President Sean Mills said. He couldn't say when exactly the papers will hit Austin.”

And, while they do plan to open spartan quarters here, for those of you would-be masters of parody, we understand from inside sources that the editorial offices will remain in New York and they’ve never been big on the unsolicited contributions; so don’t start touching up those writing samples and resumes just yet, funny guy.

We welcome the addition of the Onion to the Austin landscape and wait with baited breath for the first edition to hit our streets.