Austinist: Truesdays: Ouroboros

Brenner

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:32:42 -0600

Hey, Anon, you wonder how many people will die while we "assholes sit in an airconditioned theatre"? Well, gosh, I'm guessing it'll be the same number that will die regardless of what the fuck we're doing in whatever location, air-conditioned or otherwise, we happen to be in. And what will YOU be doing, shmucko, as those people are dying? And what have you been doing for THE PAST FEW MINUTES? By the time you finish reading this sentence, another several dozen (at least) people in the world will have died, and quite a few of them from INTENTIONAL human-vs-human killing. Why weren't you out there, actively engaged in STOPPING the madness, huh? And what about NOW? And what about NOW? People keep dying, Anon, while you sit there at your fucking computer. We can't count fast enough to keep up with the death toll. And look at you: doing NOTHING. You think you're some renegade Shinigami or something? SNAKES ON A PLANE did more for people and is doing more for people --- in providing jobs and money and creative outlets and (even if insipid) entertainment, in providing a brief diversion from the otherwise inescapable facts of this world of sorrow --- than YOU, I'll wager, have done. So do (or at least say) something constructive, Anon, instead of harshing on others --- especially if those others are Shannon McCormick, whom you aren't fit to polish the shaved and shining pate of. Nuff said.

Shannon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:40:47 -0600

Hey Benji, now that you own Trucraig in exchange for Genie's three dead Sri Lankans, can I trade you Rauschenberg's erased Franz Kline drawing for him? Or a Richard Prince Marlboro Man photo? No? Damn, too bad, them shits is valuable. Well, I'll have to think of something else to trade you, because he's still got a date with the Midgard Serpent coming up. Although I doubt he can lift Mjolnir.

Shannon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:23:32 -0600

Hey anonymous, you can put you money where your potty mouth is by sponsoring one the individuals at a set amount for each hour they're at the theater. Not interested? Yeah, your convictions are are as clear as your name.

Shannon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:42:05 -0600

Benji, I appreciate your paying attention to an event easy enough to ignore. You're playing right into our hands. And who's the simp?

Anon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:33:28 -0600

Indy cars run on ecstasy? Uncut?

Anon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:14:55 -0600

This "cause" is okay. But the event is retarded. The 'better' you do... the less money goes to... the cause? Seems a little 'counter-'. If people gave a shit about Sri Lankans, they'd leave during opening credits. The longer they watch (what is most likely) an insipid film, the more they demonstrate their lack of compassion for Sri Lankans. Wow. I wonder how many will die while you assholes sit in an air-conditioned theater? Will there be beer? Not very well conceived. Keep searching for your 'hero'.

genie

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:59:14 -0600

Deal.

Benji

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:58:38 -0600

I'll trade you three dead Sri Lankans for one True Craig.

genie

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:55:08 -0600

Why does Chris Harper seem surprised that Sri Lanka doesn't have its own anti-venom AND leads the world in snakebite deaths? Doesn't that seem a bit... axiomatic?

Benji

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:51:41 -0600

Okay, okay. I confess: the pun was intended.

Benji

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:50:50 -0600

Okay, please ignore the above knee-jerky reaction. But it does seem like a pretty weak premise, done so with an attempt to hijack (no pun intended) someone else's art. But do give him credit for the continuum: after all, look at the premise of the film-- it's the combination of two basic fears: the fear of flying and the fear of snakes. Personally, Shannon has done well to continue the motif by combining two of my worst fears: 1. The general decline in human creativity, and 2. Simps in control of public events. But he did alert me to the presence of at least one venomous reptile.

anon

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:43:00 -0600

the other problem with the Indy car reference is that they use E85 at this time and next year will be 100% E - so the idea that they are wasting gasoline is sort of flawed.

Benji

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:14:07 -0600

Get these mutha-fuckin shannons off my mutha-fucken computer.

truecraig

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 19:23:58 -0600

Close to relativism. But instead of being everywhere at once, it's anywhere at once. I'm sure it has a better philosophical moniker, but I was trying to disassociate the idea from those rabid Jung revivalists. Yeah, smacking the Indy 500 would be a more subtle witticism, but it steered away from my "eating thyself" theme, while the hotdog eating contest fit quite nicely. Yes, I can be a pretentious douche balloon. Admitted.

Edward

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 18:08:59 -0600

Eating contests are easy targets for righteous indignation at pointless conspicuous consumption, but there are less obvious and arguably far worse examples (gas wasted at the Indianapolis 500, etc.) What do you mean by "moral anarchy"? Relativism? BTW, when it comes to moral ambiguity, definitely recommend (re)reading this great post: http://claremajor.net/archives/000248.html

truecraig

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:58:18 -0600

Brenner, you got me. Well, pretty much. Edward and Shannon too. Sort of. But for the record: I believe Unicef and Amnesty Intl are decent causes. I was using them to throw off my comparison of the movie “sit-in” to that of the hot dog eating contest. I was hoping for absolute moral anarchy (not ambiguity). I know that there are at least as many apologetic psychopaths out there as there are Phish-quoting neo-hippies. Such is the nature of balance. I simply want to avoid playing the part of absolutist. Too many others are manning that post, and they’re much louder. Recycling is not near as compelling as "intelligent reduction" or the use of more sustainable materials. Beyond that, Penn & Teller are magicians in every metaphoric sense of the word, for good and not-so-good. Shannon, you are a hero for your primo skim-reading skills, if nothing else. Seriously, I've heard damn good things about your stage skeeeeeiiillz from trusted sources. Regardless of how sore your bum may become during your marathon watching of the best-hyped shitstorm of-a-movie, I hope your efforts find their way onto the S.O.A.P. DVD. Word. All the comments for this post got held up by the software because it is highly displeased with my irreverent and superfluous use of ellipses. "The Man" is far too lazy to filter these things by hand.

adamr

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:47:10 -0600

We aren't allowed to curse in the comments? I'll keep the potty mouth off of the keyboard from now on, but I'll keep my mouth on the potty if you know what I mean! Mouths on a latrine.

Shannon

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:43:14 -0600

And yeah, I don't think many people would mistake that post for an advertisement, so you're clear on that count.

Edward

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:34:06 -0600

Pretty sure I got auto flagged for using a dirty word. I'll know better next time, but you still better keep an eye on me, I got muthaf*ckin comments on a muthf*ckin' blog! ;-)

allen

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:20:50 -0600

we're watching you, edward.

Shannon

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:20:38 -0600

No worries Edward, my snark comment was directed at the article itself, not your post. My comment was laid up in cyberspace as well. I originally wrote a post saying, hey, thanks for a link when I saw that there was an inbound Austinist link to my site. All I saw intially was "Shannon McCormick, hero, blah blah", and I thought damn, thanks, that's nice. But then I read the article and realized it wasn't nearly so pleasant as that first little glance at the link. Hence the second post, which arrived after yours.

Edward

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 16:08:46 -0600

Yo Shannon, just to be clear, my "recycling is pretty much bullsh*t too" comment above was directed at Craig's list of causes "that seriously needs some work", *not* your Snakes on Day effort which I honestly don't know that much about. My comment *was* the first one for the article, but unfortunately was flagged by the Man and didn't get posted until after it cleared Austinist airport security and you had posted yours.

truecraig

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 14:58:41 -0600

This is in no way meant to be an advert for the Snakes On A Day contest being held by Mr. McCormick and The Alamo. It's an interesting idea, so I will do a quick, separate, and much more serious post for that later.

Brenner

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 13:00:21 -0600

It's getting to you, huh, Craig? Not just the continual, everyday suffering and dying that goes on, relentlessly, affecting real people with real lives and passions and history, all over this spinning globe, but also especially the murderous and highly celebrated abominations currently underway in the Middle East. Abhorrent, isn't it? Kind of thing makes you glad you don't care more than you already do, which you in fact fight even the minimum empathy with in the first place, lest you go stark raving bugfuck mad. But: "No one is positively, actively supporting the application of intentional death in a general sense." Yeah? I must disagree. I can't let us --- or myself --- off that easily. We are all positively, actively supporting that shit. Because many of us are actively choosing not to oppose it in any meaningful way beyond, when the mood or sufficient alcohol hits us, ranting. We're CHOOSING that, man; there's no other person in our heads, calling the shots. I personally can't pretend that I'm against "intentional death in a general sense." Oh, I'd LIKE to be against it, I'd LIKE to be out there, carrying the protest signs, doing the political research and campaign-rallying that just MIGHT make a small bit of difference regarding the slowing of the rate of "intentional death in a general sense" in the foreseeable future. But as much as I'd LIKE to do that, I much PREFER to read the latest issues of Takeshi Obata's DEATHNOTE or work on a new painting or catch a FoleyVision show at the Alamo with my girlfriend and my daughter instead. Or pretty much ANY thing --- washing my goddam DISHES --- other than taking the trouble to actively oppose "intentional death in a general sense." So I'm guilty, kemo sabe. But I feel, ultimately: too fucking bad. And, hey ~ I appreciate how you keep bringing it back to those motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane, Craig. Because that movie, with unintentional eloquence ... that movie, and the public's reaction to its imminent debut ... that Media! Event! sums up the entire stinking shitball our feet (both actual and metaphoric) are mired in, doesn't it? o.O A more serious recommendation: The short story "And Now The News" by Theodore Sturgeon. (It's in THE COMPLETE STORIES OF THEODORE STURGEON, VOLUME IX, available via Amazon. And it's in other, cheaper paperback collections, too, but I forget which ones.) That about says it all, TC. Yes: all.

Shannon

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 11:07:43 -0600

Nothing like a little snark to start off the morning.

Edward

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 10:57:28 -0600

Apparently recycling is pretty much bullshit too: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7734998370503499886

Shannon

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 10:44:52 -0600

Hey truecraig, Thanks for the write up. Check back on the blog later today. My motivations for doing this will be explained.