Blanks On A MuthaF*ckin' Blank!

The whole Snakes On A Plane phenomena is getting wildly out of hand. It’s become its own animal. Its own machine, transcending its existence as a movie and entering that weird internerd world of cultish worship alongside Goetse, Tubgirl (look those up at your own peril) All Your Base Are Belong To Us, YTMND, Evil Bert and a shitload of other fleeting online fascinations spurred by bored cubicle workers and fueled by bored teenagers.

S.O.A.P. has become a cliché before it even had a chance to mean something. A marketing juggernaut of ironically reversed-irony (very astute, Mr. Klosterman), and the movie will likely be the stupidest attempt at, well, anything. Ever.

But at least it spawned the BLANKS On A BLANK! film contest! Teams submitted homemade 2-5 minute films based on random pairings of some weird-ass animal and a highly unlikely form of transportation. The list is lengthy and varied. Hence: Rooster On A Stagecoach. You want to see Foxes On A Kayak? Of course you do. It must have some t&a action. Yak On A Wheelchair? Hell yes. I mean, who HASN’T? Hello! Are you excited to see the cinematic treatment of Bunny On A Pogostick? It’s gotta be irony piled upon irony, poured over a bowl of cynical-yet-playful pokes at Obese Human On A Rascal.

Check the list for other oddities, and watch the films from the comfort of your Office Chair In A Cubicle! Then, sign up to vote for your favorite.

Voting closes on Thursday the 10th, at midnight. The winners of the voting process will be announced the following day (Friday, urrrr, the 11th), at 8am. On August 17th, at The Alamo South Lamar, they’ll screen the winners and you can go see/join Drunks In A Theatre! But you'll have to catch those tix on ebay or some shit because there are NO MORE TICKETS ON A MUTHAF*CKIN' MOVIE.

If you already got tix, then you will bathe in the glory that is: the still-birth of no-how marketing. PR Wizards On An Internet!

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By truecraig on August 9, 2006 1:46 PM 0 Comments

Comments [rss]

George

The screening last night was pretty fun. As the MC said, "Some of these films are so good they're bad, and some of them... well, you see where I'm going."

truecraig

The spooging caged gorilla is pretty hot. The fox handpuppets that grope chicks are pretty racy too.

It's almost as if there were a directive for film makers to include some over-the-top sexual references. But then again, that's what people will likely do when their only barrier is "don't make outright porn".

Regardless, go vote.

Roy

My improv troupe ( Parallelogramophonograph ) entered the contest and submitted a silent film, "Tarantulas on a hovercraft". Regardless of who wins, it was totally worth is just for the exposure. Thousands of people have seen our stuff now who never would have before. Winning would be nice, too.

Tom's right, though. From the 3 year old shouting "Motherfucking Rhinos!" to the spooging gorilla, to the kangaroo blowjob shadows, there's some seriously twisted stuff in there.