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Fake cable repairmen, firefighters and cowboys are drawing the wrath of local officials. Austin police and lawyers for the city say that the lewd dancing taking place over at La Bare on Congress and Riverside has gone too far. And with the club located within 1000 feet of a school (Texas School for the Deaf) and a public park (Town Lake), officials say they have the right to close down the gauche pink neon-clad building. (By the way, what is better than using foreign prefixes and articles in an attempt to transmogrify a stupid play on words into something sophisticated yet tantalizing? Le sigh.)
Co-owner Kevin Cox has defended his club, saying that the male dancers at the female-only club remained partially clothed and do not do anything lascivious. Instead, he says, they perform professional dance acts and comedy routines, just like in Las Vegas. The city codes prohibit adult-oriented businesses from operating near parks and schools. These businesses include cabarets with "erotic touching of human genitals, the pubic region, the buttock, or the female breast"; aroused genitals displayed; or sex acts performed.
While we have not been to La Bare, we would imagine that an occasional package or two has been grabbed, although we doubt sex acts have been performed. Then again, for some of the customers, a lap dance may be the closest thing they've had to a sex act in ages.
While we think the building is a complete eye-sore and completely out of place, we kinda understand the owner of the club's lawyer, who has said that he feels the city seems to be selectively enforcing the law in this case. Then again, we don't know of any other strip, er comedy, clubs within 1000 feet of a school, so who knows.
But, neighbors beware, the city has put an injunction on the club's liquor license, meaning it is bring your own bottle at La Bare these days. So, if you want to get it on with a disgustingly wasted paralegal at 2am, we suggest loitering around Congress and Riverside, cause the drunker they are, the better you look, boys.
We predict that within six months, the club will be shutdown for good. In its place...condos!
Your thoughts?
*Image (c) Nicole's Beginnings on Flickr*
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The distance to the School for the Deaf from LaBare is approximately 1584 feet (.3 mile) according to Google Maps.
Look how close Sugar's is to St. John's Park and Pool.
yep, seems a little fishy. i am sure mayor wynn was like, "how in the hell do they have the money to stay there? find a way to get them out. and while you're at it, get rid of Pinky's, too."
i don't want to be a development nazi, but it would be nice to have something there besides a schwaggy strip club. not sure what would work there. a mid-leve to high-end restaurant? a music club won't, apparently. see Steamboat. but it is such a big space. what to do...what to do...?
Not for you to worry about. If someone didn't have designs on it, they probably wouldn't be going after it.
That story line is ludicrous.
So I guess they were selectively ignoring The Crazy Lady and Maplewood Elementary..... allllllll those years.
Somebody do a 1000ft radius around Expose, there's gotta be a school in their somewhere.
Le sigh, indeed.
That building is one of those cursed locations that for one reason or another *no* business ever survives there very long. Just like the former Mimosa location Barton Springs. Ancient Indian burial grounds perhaps?
Given that I've never seen more than 10 cars in their parking lot, I'm sure La Bare will be dead of natural causes in no time.
Well, it just seems that a bunch of people with money who are not from austin are telling people in power (also not from austin) what they could do with the space to make it "better." If they want to turn downtown austin into downtown dallas so badly then just get rid of 6th street too while your're at it. One more building of condos should just about do it.