This Week's New Movie Releases! (Also, a Brief Review)
Okay, we must take a quick moment here to talk about Pirates of the Caribbean Part Deux, which we should have talked about sooner but didn’t because, well, quite frankly, we kinda forgot we’d seen it until two hours ago, when yet another preview came on TV and we said to ourselves, “Hey, didn’t that scene come after that other scene and hey, how do we know that? Oh right, we saw that movie last Saturday.”
Not to say that it’s a BAD movie – Johnny Depp could never be bad. It was entertaining, and a great way to avoid the late-afternoon heat. However, now that we've seen it, we’re convinced more than ever that Orlando Bloom is relatively worthless (yeah, yeah, it’s been obvious from the beginning, but we’re slow and he’s pretty). Also, Keira Knightly needs more to do in these films than be mild-to-moderately annoying. And maybe they could make the action sequences a little longer and more outrageously elaborate because we don’t think all five of our senses were properly bombarded by special effects (what this film needs is Smell-o-vision! Or maybe not, those pirates look very unwashed).
Of course, we knew going into it that we’d be getting Disney times, like, a billion, so we're not surprised or anything. But c’mon, Verbinski. We expect this from Bruckheimer, but you, well, we had hope for you. However, we’re sure that your $133 million opening weekend (biggest opening weekend in recorded history, btw) makes you not give a rat’s hindquarters what anyone thinks. And you’ve still got Johnny, so you’re golden.
The special effects truly are impressive, though.
Enough of this chatter. On to this week’s new releases, which won’t rake in nearly as much cash!
Little Man
Whenever we see a preview for this movie, we feel like the entire human race is being seriously insulted.
You, Me, and Dupree
Is it just us, or are the Wilson brothers, like, everywhere now? And does that disturb you as much as it disturbs us?
*Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man
If you’re a Cohen fan: This Is Your Movie. Sorry. That was lame.
Wassup Rockers (Austinist Review)
Sex, drugs & rock-n-roll. And stereotypes and unfeasibility.
*Cavite
Austinist review
*Austinist recommends. We also recommend these fine cinematic experiences: Friends with Money, An Inconvenient Truth, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, A Prairie Home Companion, The Puffy Chair, A Scanner Darkly
