![_The Dandy Warhols at Emo's East [Show Photos]](http://austinist.com/assets_c/2012/05/IMG_8133-thumb-250x250-716346.jpg)
![_The Preservation, The Dalles and SuperLiteBike at Beauty Ballroom [Show Preview]](http://austinist.com/assets_c/2012/05/the preservation-thumb-250x250-716401.jpg)
News Bits!
- Bartering a red paper clip got Kyle MacDonald a new house. Direct your sights to bigger and better because bigger is better. Yeah; thank God we're in Texas.
- Lily Allen was rising to stardom somewhere until she admitted she'd celebrate her first Number 1 single with coke. Smart girl.
- In Quebec, a 7-year-old boy's legs had to be amputated after a water park accident. Anyone want our coupons for Schlitterbahn? We won't be needing them.
- Your life is about to get so much easier. Heatseek, a porn browser, is being launched today.
- Subway Saw Massacre in a New York subway. A man grabbed a couple saws off a nearby workbench and went on a rampage.
- Gossip around the office is good for productivity. When you know you're better than everyone else, especially the slut in HR, it builds a little confidence.
- Smokers are finally getting something other than lung cancer. Their very own smoking airline.
- TSA screeners at the Houston Hobby airport passed the buck to Houston Police after suspecting a passenger of having a bomb.
- Your ACL ticket purchases are going to good causes! In addition to exposure to good music and scantily clad bodies, CSE is contributing profits to the Austin Parks Foundation to improve local parks.
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