News Bits!

- That bitch that cut you off almost swiping the side of your shiny car wasn't drunk. She was gossiping on her cell phone. But she might as well have been drunk.
- Check out some proposals for Austin's largest public art project and tell the developer what you think.
- Who knew that Disney World was such a dangerous place?
- A judge in Oklahoma, was insecure about his own sexual performance behind the bench. He was using a penis pump while performing his judicial duties.
- Got a few fireworks that you're not sure what to do with? Here's some ideas that involve watermelons.
- Victoria's Secret might be embarassed by the sight of boobs.
- Did gas prices rise because of tensions in the Middle East, or maybe it is the pending Holiday Weekend. We recommend you gas up last week or quit driving so much.
- The Religious Right doesn't want girls to be immunized against HPV, which causes cervical cancer, among other things, in women. Apparently immunity to this virus is going to increase immoral sexual activity.
- Our governement can be so optimistic sometimes! Looking at the bright side of global warming, more food/crops could be yielded due to increases of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. But not as much as originally thought.
- Austin ranked on the nation's Top 10 Speed Trap Cities list. Are police officers bored or do we all just drive too too fast!?
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