News of the Lame: Carole Cougar Mellencamp for Governor

Apparently all of Ms. Strayhorn's clever campaigning has come back to bite her in the ass. The "Tough Grandma," as she's been self-monikered, wants to have her name appear on the November ballot as Carole Keeton "Grandma" Strayhorn. Wow!

Strayhorn says that her campaigning slogan has left such a lasting impression with voters that many have come to know her simply as "the Grandma." We think the whole thing has a bit of an American Idol feel to it. Maybe if she'd spent more time outlining her plans, and less time shoving a ridiculous nickname down voters' throats, she wouldn't have to worry about this dilemma. Perhaps she should be listed on there as "that frosted-hair bitch," so people wanting to make sure they don't vote for her will know exactly and won't be duped into casting their vote for the wrong person. Here's another thought: maybe she should worry a little less about kitschy nickname confusion, as she's the only woman running among the four leading candidates.

Strayhorn has only gone by that last name for four years, when she remarried. State law prohibits candidates from using a nickname if it's a slogan. So, while Mr. Friedman and Mr/ Perry may be using nicknames (Kinky and Rick), that's how they've been publicly addressed for years. The move by Strayhorn comes off as a bit desperate. Look, if the people you're relying on to put you in office are too stupid to grasp that you have a real name outside of "Grandma," we probably don't want those folks deciding who should govern the state. Besides, how dickdonkulous does this whole ordeal make Texas look on the national scene? Not that we need any help in that department.

The best response to the move to get "Grandma" on the ballot came from Friedman, who said, "She can call herself Carole Cougar Mellencamp if she wants, but when it comes to the ballot, she should follow the law."

That law and its interpretation will be left to Secretary of State and Perry appointee Roger Williams.

With all of this in mind, we ask that henceforth Truecraig be referred to as "True - who's your daddy? - Craig." Best regards, Austinist.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@austinist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By matthewodam in News on June 9, 2006 11:56 AM 0 Comments

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anyone but c4n3p

She should make her name Carole Keeton "Bigot" Strayhorn.

Two years ago, Strahorn was angered by the fact that he Unitarian Universalist church stepped out of line from the common practice of Texas churches endorsing right-wing agendas because the Unitarian Universalists preach tolerance.

The Unitarian Universalist church has a long history in America, going back over 200 years. Both the second American President John Adams and the fourth American President John Quincy Adams were Unitarians. The church is has congregations in every state, including about 50 in Texas, where there are about 10,000 church members here in this state alone.

Among the seven principles that guide Unitarian Universalists is the belief that we must all respect the interdependent nature of all existence. This belief demands an attitude of tolerance. Never had any state or governmental agency questioned the Unitarians tax-exempt religious status because of this religious philosophy UNTIL Strayhorn.

Ignoring the church's long religious history, Strayhorn claimed that the church wasn't really a religion so she could use that argument as the basis to yank the church's tax empt status because, in Strayhorn's own words, the Texas Unitarian church "does not have one system of belief."

Of course, even conservative legal and religious scholars were shocked. Conservative University of Texas law professor Douglas Laycock, who specializes in religious liberty issues, was quick to point out that Texas has not always barred similarly inclusive religions from tax exempt status. Previously, even the Republican Texas Supreme Court had and other Texas courts had rejected this tactic, holding that such a bigoted practice "fails to include the whole range of belief systems that may, in our diverse and pluralistic society, merit the First Amendment protection."

Strayhorn vowed to fight the Unitarian Universalist church to the U.S. Supreme Court, comparing the church to a "wannabe cult" with members who "dress up and parades down Sixth Street on Halloween." Just a week after this bigoted statement, Strayhorn reversed her biased decision and have up her persecution.