Happy Hour: New To Austin? Welcome To The Club...

A quick plug for cold beers at shady picnic tables: tomorrow night, the upstart Austin Newbies group (comprised of recent transplants from San Francisco, New York, Boston, and elsewhere) hold their third drinks night of 2006. The unimaginatively (but accurately) titled Austin Newbies aims to introduce new Austinites to each other so that many beers can be had, concerts and Drafthouses can be attended, and Casino El Camino burgers can be consumed by said new people. If you're new to Austin and aged 25-35, stop by and meet others in the same boat and ask (or answer) questions like "Who is Kinky?", "Why the hell are they putting up toll roads?", and most importantly, "Matthew McConaughey is somehow entitled to write about sports in the newspaper?" We feel you.

AUSTIN NEWBIES VOL. 3
Wednesday, May 17th - 6 to 8pm
Little Woodrow's
520 West 6th Street (at Nueces)
512.477.BEER
Please RSVP to austinnewbies@gmail.com
There will be an "AUSTIN NEWBIES" sign on the table.

Note: Austinist contributor Tom Thornton is a co-founder of this event. Photo via CapitalCityBrew.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@austinist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Tom Thornton in Other on May 16, 2006 2:13 PM 0 Comments

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Kinky is Awesome

Anyone asks you who is Kinky, just tell em the next governor of Texas!

Kinky has some good ideas. He discussed some of them with the Texarkana Gazette. Here's what Kinky said about the illegal Mexican alien problem:

"Mexico is not a poor country...all of these politicians are afraid of offending Hispanics. I want the border off the evening news until we get something resolved."

Kinky's been saying that Mexico ain't poor for better than a year now. Here's a another story out of the Kilgore News Herald, where Kinky says "Mexico is not a poor country."

Here's some other interesting stuff out of that story:

"He proposes auctioning Texas sports funding to the highest bidder -- Nike or Coca Cola or Adidas or some other corporation that would like the opportunity to “get their hooks into the athletes while they’re still young.”

...

“I am going to see non-denominational prayer and the Ten Commandments put back in the schools.”

Friedman said the Ten Commandments might have to be called the ten rules or something similar but they need to be back in the schools. “They say this is part of my wussification campaign but, as my spiritual advisor Billy Jo Schafer says, “If you don’t love Jesus, go to hell.”

...

He proposes creating what he calls the Five Mexican Generals plan. As he lays it out, the border with Mexico would be divided into five pieces with a Mexican general responsible for each. A $1 million trust fund would be created for each general.

“When I talk about the five Mexican generals, people think I’m joking but I’m dead serious,” said Friedman. “I will divide the border into five jurisdictions, assigning one Mexican general to each and providing a trust fund for that general. Every time a person crosses illegally, we subtract $5,000 from the trust fund.”

Kinky also did an interview with Ruminator Magazine about his thoughts on Bush's foreign policy:

Ruminator: So does this idea of the honorable cowboy have anything to do with why you threw your support behind President Bush in this last election? You did, didn’t you?

Kinky: Yes. I did in this last election, but I didn’t vote for him the first time....I was not for Bush that time. Since then, though, we’ve become friends. And that’s what’s changed things.

Ruminator: So it’s your friendship with him that’s changed your mind about having him as president more than his specific political positions?

Kinky: Well, actually, I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy....I basically think he played a poor hand well after September 11. What he’s been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think.

You gotta love Kinky