Craigslist: Kumquats and Missed Connections

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Monkey Girl picking Kumquat

We didn't even know it was kumquat season. Keep your eyes peeled to the tree tops for a possible connection. As it stands, this one was missed, but at least he got a fruit snack.

I saw you walking toward campus when you stopped to climb a tree to pick a kumquat. When you saw me, you bashfully said I should try one. It was very endearing. Perhaps we can find more trees to climb?

At first we thought, butt grabbing, what HEB does this occur at? Then we thought, does it happen so often that they needed to specify the time? We in no way endorse groping as a pick-up tactic, although it seems to have worked this time. The next time it might include a rude surprise.

I am still in shock because I was so turned on when you did it. I know it wasn't an accident either because you bumped in to me nearly grabbing my breasts a few aisles earlier. I am pretty sure you were with your wife or girlfriend. Not that cool my friend. Just don't bring her along next time and we will go and have fun. Your piercing hazel eyes snatched my attention from the get go. I have never seen you there before but I will be on the look out for you.

p.s. don't bring her along next time.

Missed Connections for Mass Audiences After the Jump