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The Notorious New Movie Releases!

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We're just gonna get down to it, y'all...

Silent Hill
Yeah. Because this movie is totally necessary.

At Last
We're mentioning this one because it's our duty, but here are some terms randomly selected from reviews of the film: self-indulgent, charmless, embarrassing, paper-thin. Make of that what you will.

*Friends with Money
"See, Brad?! Do you see now?! I don't need you and your stupid pretty face! I'm FINE! I've got a career, I've got Cat Keener and my other girlfriends (my chicas as I call them) to look out for me, and they're all AWESOME and COOL and SMART and FUNNY unlike YOU and I don't even CARE that you and that WHOREBITCH are having what will surely be the hottest baby ever birthed by woman. I'm through with you, William Bradley Pitt! FOR-E-VER! Come any closer and my boyfriend will totally kick your ass once he finishes his beer!"

American Dreamz
Has anyone checked out the soundtrack yet? Because we're willing to bet that Mandy Moore has at least one song on there, as it's probably stated in her contract for every movie she ever makes. We're also willing to bet that this movie is neither funny nor interesting.

The Sentinel
So Kiefer Sutherland plays Jack Bauer...wait...no, that's something else. So Michael Douglas plays some ruthless smarmbag who sleeps with women he probably shouldn't be sleeping with. Eh, close enough.

*The Notorious Bettie Page
Critics are saying this film about the sexy 50s icon is well-written and nicely acted. As if those were the reasons you're going to see it.

Mary Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School
Wondering if anyone would ever hire Donnie Wahlberg again? Well, here's your answer.

*Austinist recommends. We also recommend these fine cinematic experiences: Brick, Inside Man, Thank You for Smoking, V for Vendetta

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Comments [rss]

  • bre and i both saw it and loved it. Nicole Holofcener ("Lovely & Amazing") is a great director and brilliant screenwriter. Her perception and understanding of the human condition is extremely keen and her dialogue is some of the best realism out there right now. all of the performances were wonderful.

  • SN

    So Bre, did you actually see "Friends with Money", or is this star based on the general vibe on the nets. I ask because I loved Aniston in "The Good Girl" and am hoping for something along those lines.

  • odam

    holy crap! i'm guessing we can't get married can we?

    "See, Brad?! Do you see now?! I don't need you and your stupid pretty face! I'm FINE! I've got a career, I've got Cat Keener and my other girlfriends (my chicas as I call them) to look out for me, and they're all AWESOME and COOL and SMART and FUNNY unlike YOU and I don't even CARE that you and that WHOREBITCH are having what will surely be the hottest baby ever birthed by woman. I'm through with you, William Bradley Pitt! FOR-E-VER! Come any closer and my boyfriend will totally kick your ass once he finishes his beer!"

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