Monkeys, Limp Tortillas, and Hardware Store Dating

Missed Connections provided a fruitful bounty this week. It was hard to limit our choices to just the posts below. Read on and let us know if we missed any of your favorites.

Monkey in my office

You came into my office today dressed like a monkey with a bunch of bananas. We chatted for a few, and then I had to get back to work. Wish we could have talked longer....

Nothing Austinist likes better than some monkey love. Could he have at least brought a muffin and coffee? It's the least a courting monkey could provide.

Limp tortilla looking for hot guacamole

Looking for the hot tub of gaucamole lying on the lunchroom counter. I was the shredded chicken wallowing in my own boredom, flanked by sleepy lettuce and stale cheese. Did I see you looking? Wanna come roll in my tortilla with me? Maybe I'll catch you inside that giant's stomach that ate me. Hit me up!

Are we supposed to find love or a place to eat? Second to a connection we do love our Tex-Mex. But instead of emailing to find out if this was us, we decided to go grab lunch.

Home Depot, the New Speed Dating

Are we the only people that didn't know about this? If you want to hook up, abandon dating sites and head to Home Depot. We had no idea it was turning it to a meat market, it's a whole new type of hardware.

Cute Doe Eyes at Swamp Romp

I was having a great time at Swamp Romp, too good a time! You were petite brunette with blondish friend....left right before Cowboy Mouth came out. I saw you looking my way and was going to chat with you but I had to take a MONSTER dump and the no paper havin port-o-sh*tters were not going to offer me the privacy and comfort I needed.

Hmmm. Where could he have gone wrong? It's just so hard to determine the exact location. Did he think that he'd actually get a response? If he did we'd love to send the two of them to dinner. We get a kick each time we read the post. Seriously, what are some people thinking.

Apparently we did break up last Tuesday - UPDATE

For all you curious cats, we apparently broke up... but thanks for all your questions/concern/inquiries. Very interesting. So do people actually find the people they are looking for on here? I would love to hear (rather read) some success stories. Ciao for now.

Well. Bummer. We followed this previous post with amusement, but hoped for the best. At least he found some clarification.

That's it till next week. May you find Peace, Love and Connections.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@austinist.com with further questions, comments or tips.