Grrr. There's some straight-talking, cut-that-jive-or-I'll-slap-you karma in the air this week. Out in Washington, members of congress are smacking around their local law enforcement, in NYC, city detectives have been shooting people for money, and here in Texas, some ass on the Sunset Advisory Commission has issued fightin' words 'gainst our arts community.

Well theatre-goers, we're fighting back. Grrr, again. Earlier this week we told you how local artists have rounded up mad cash for our fair A-burg, but now we give you the story behind the story, the joy lurking just underneath those cold, hard numbers -- that everyday fulfillment of ordinary people that we like to call: the theatre. (Wipe that tear you sappy bitch.)

It's a hot one on the boards this weekend. In fact, our Austinist pick of the week is a toss-up! On the one hand, we are incredibly pumped about all the great local and national artists showing new film, music, dance, theatre and more at Refraction Arts' FUSEBOX Festival -- opening this Friday night at the Blue Theater with new work from Phil Soltanof of Mad Dog Theatre (Brooklyn). (We'll be posting our interview with FUSEBOX/Refraction Arts guru Ron Berry in the blink of an eye, so check back soon.)

But on the other hand, the Rude Mechs world premiere production of Decameron Day 7: REVENGE is written by Kirk Lynn, directed by Shawn Sides, and stars Robert S. Fisher, Lana Lesley, Heather Hanna Lowell Bartholomee and more. Plus, the Rude Mechs are letting us give away free Decameron tickets to Austinist readers! But favortism based on bribery isn't our style, so we'll leave the decision up to you by recommending both shows. We'll be reviewing Decameron 7: REVENGE , so check back for that next week, but in the meantime, see it for yourself -- Friday and Saturday at 8pm at the Off Center . Tickets and info via the Rude Mechs website.

Not impressed? Fine, we think your opinion sucks too. Erm, also, there's plenty more shows listed after the jump.

BY THE HAND OF THE FATHER
We aleady posted about this earlier in the week, but thought you should be reminded because it sounds so damn cool. Saturday only at UTPAC's Hogg Auditorium. Call 477.6060 or visist the PAC webite for tickets, info, and a damn good time.

THE BEARD OF AVON
You might've noticed that we listed this show as opening last weekend. We got some misinformation, and were wrong -- so sorry to all of you who waited patiently outside the Vortex only to be sorely dissapointed. In any case, it's a “delightful comedy” from Amy Freed playing up some alternative theories on the writings of Willy Shakespeare. Namely, that someone else wrote his plays and/or he was gay. Que Scandalous! Different Stages helps us get naughty with the greatest playwright that ever lived, opening tonight. (For real, we swear.) Tickets and info at 453-7943.

THE WOMEN
Every urbanite needs a respite from the traffic, noise, and protests that accompany big city life. Why not take a stroll down a sunny street in Round Rock? While you're there, you can check out some funny-ass theatre -- like this "high spirited romp among the rich 'ladies' of high society", for instance. You can see this Clare Boothe-Luce classic at Sam Bass Community Theatre. Tickets and info by calling 512.244.0440 or traveling to Round Rock via the virtual highway.

TRIPLE ESPRESSO
This "highly-caffeinated comedy" was written by three guys in Minneapolis, and performed for the first time at a local church. Now it's a smash hit in cities across the country. Why does this never happen to the small local productions we put up? Alas. We hear this is exceptionally funny. Check out their website for more details or get down to the State Theatre Wed thru Fri at 8pm, Sat at 4pm and 8pm, or Sun at 2:30 and 7pm.

DIAVOLO
Apparently, this show is " the ultimate in artistic risk-taking". We find words like "ultimate" difficult to believe in this context, but, we suppose that title has to belong to someone. Anyway, the production is full of leaping, flying, spinning, and dancing, and uses a lot of ladders, doors, cages, spring-loaded chairs, etc. We're guessing it's a little bit like Cirque du Soleil -- a company who the Divalo Artistic Director, Jaques Helm, is currently directing for. You can see them appearing for the first time in Austin tonight only at the Paramount Theatre at 8pm. Get tickets online or by calling 866.4GET.TIX.

Phew. And don't forget, the following shows are still running from weeks prior...

STATIC, by Jason Pavelchik. Read our review. Presented by Salvage Vanguard Theatre at the Woodward Hotel through May 6th. Tickets and info.

THE ODD COUPLE, presented by the Austin Playhouse through May 7th. Tickets and info.

THE GLORY OF LIVING, by Rebecca Gillman. Read our review. Presented by Hyde Park Theatre through April 15th. Tickets and info.

LA LOTERIA: A JOURNEY OF LIFE, presented by Proyecto Teatro in collaboration with Aztlan Dance through April 9th at the Santa Cruz Center for Culture. Tickets and info.

THE EXONERATED, presented by Zach Scott Theatre through May 7th. Tickets and info.

BAD DATES, presented by Zach Scott Theatre through May 7th. Tickets and info.

DURANG/DURANG, presented by St Edwards University at the Mary Moody Northern Theatre through April 10th. Tickets and info by calling 448-8400.

Image by Pedro Alvarado at Stock Exchange