Tuesday Night: Dionysium Drinks Up

For obvious reasons, there have been countless celebrations of this particular deity in written history. Some private, well-guarded, and dirty-mcnasty, like a blindfolded wife-swap. Others more public, and far more tame, like that which is happening Tuesday night at The Alamo South Lamar.

The Salvage Vanguard Theatre treatment of this celebration makes the whole experience more realistic, and less j-j-j jam-packed with lofty and unpalatable platitudes. It’s more of a talent revue, really, with the MCs preaching the gospel of booze in between and around. There’s usually a debate of some sort. This month is the question of whether or not US military power is justified or effective in the bringing of democracy to other societies – which is a maddening question to pose, since we don’t really have democra[z]y here to begin with. It’s almost like asking whether or not the oceans are effective or justified in bringing mathematics to Australia. If there’s any democracy spreading, probability says that it’s by blind accident. But we’ll let the debates play out on stage, as those who hit the podium are comparatively FAR better versed in such things that we.

Then there’s usually a skit of some sort. This month it will be The Violet Crown Radio Players. We have no idea what they’ll be thespianizing, but their name has this “faux troupe-ish” quality to it that has us intrigued.

Then perhaps a movie, or set of shorts, where everyone should quiet down for some watchin’ and learnin’. Tuesday's will be from the founders of East Austin Stories, a collaborative filmmaking effort between UT students and East Austin residents (filmmaker and film professor) Andy Garrison and (community activist) Juan Valadez.*

Please keep in mind: the point of the Dionysium is not to get racist-joking, pants-dropping, back-alley-sleeping drunk. Not at all. The point is to get just enough liquor into one’s system so as to feel a decent enough drop in inhibition to allow one to channel their own creative energies and/or “will to power” (in the forum for debate, not bloodshed). Getting utterly obliterated runs against the grain of the thing.

One time we went to a movie screening at The Alamo for a Ramones documentary, and some dude walked in with what MUST have been three drunk-as-fuck hookers. He was all pimped out with a bedsheet baseball jersey, blanco-y-blancos, three gold teef in his barely-post-braces grill, and a diamond the size of a thumbnail, in his ear. But the kid was Westlake white. Not that we take any issue whatsoever with his attire, savagery of cultural iconography, or the fact that when he wasn’t sleeping during the movie he was yelling at his “stupid bitches” to “shut the fuck up and watch this shit”. In all honesty, he was more awesome on more levels than we could possibly calculate or comprehend. We admire any man (or fifteen year-old kid) who can show up to a movie theatre visibly drunk before sundown, decked-out like Fitty Cent’s alter-shadow, with three skank-nasties on his freshly tatt’d arms, and proceed to destroy another bucket of beer during the flick (between naps and snaps). The kid had it all figured out. Had to.

But it was the post-show question/answer session with the director that got our goat. Too much booze and there’s no more room for informed debate or intelligent repartee. Every potentially interesting question from the audience was squashed by the random bellowing of useless crap like “so, you got a brother or what?” Hardly a worthwhile question for a documentary director. Some comments were, initially, a bit entertaining. “You gotta girlfriend? Nah? Boyfriend then? Gay?” But then they just seemed like class-clowning buffoonery. “I liked your movie. You must know people. Like movie people and shit, or whatever.” Movie people? No shit? It gets old, fast.

Plus, contrary to those pre-movie vignettes, Ann Richards isn’t on the premises to toss out sassy drunkards as fast as need-be. Bejeweled and behookered or not. Trust that.

Short story long, you don’t want to be that guy. Get just enough in you to be ballsy and yell out a long-held but always-quieted opinion. That’s what the forum is really for. Intelligent debate.

But not post-happy-hour barstool-drool debate. Unless you bring lots of hookers and dress like an ethnicity you are only marginally familiar with, probably from watching cable television. Like Ali G or some shit. Then it might fly.

Moving on.

Another segment they typically have is a reading of some sort. Someone reads from some famous alcoholic’s memoirs, or a book that was written by a famous drunk, or an as-yet-to-be-famous potential drunk gets up and reads their own work (which is beyond fantastic!).

We are specifically looking forward to the story that will be told by local playwright/writer/philosopher/imbiber of good spirits: Wayne Alan Brenner. We expect good things from this man. And if you’ve read his work in The Austin Chronicle, or received word of his penchant for the use of brilliantly placed profanity (okay, we totally made that last part up, but the dude’s known to avoid self-censorship, which is something we should all totally get behind. Sometimes. Maybe not ALL of us, but whatever). Looking forward to it.

You might too. Then go to the Scion event. Word be bond.

Dionysium [ tickets ]
Tuesday, April 4th
7:30pm
Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar
1120 South Lamar [ map ]

* excerpt totally lifted from Alamo Drafthouse website. We are nothing if not unoriginal at times.