New Movie Releases!

A surprisingly hefty offering of new releases today! Trim the fat and take our recommendations to heart, won't you?

Basic Instinct 2
It's not possible for us to care less about Sharon Stone's latest attempt to "get back in the game," as it were. You can already download the "sex" scenes from the internet, but honestly, why would you want to? It's like voluntarily searing your own retinas with white-hot needles.

*Ice Age: The Meltdown
Thanks to the previews, we're trying to purge from our minds the disturbing image of Ray Romano and Queen Latifah gettin' it on as giant woolly mammoths.

ATL
We don't really know what to say about this movie, other than: roller skating? Seriously?

Ask the Dust
Colin Farrell tries to prove why anyone gave a shit about his stank Irish ass in the first place.

Find Me Guilty
Vin Diesel's blitzkrieg of promotional interviews (he was even on The Daily Show!) for this movie amounted to this: He has fake hair. And got sorta fat. Brilliant. Our assessment: He's kinda ridiculous. And vastly overemployed.

*Adam and Steve
Gay people just wanna have fun! You know, without all those pesky laws saying they can't teach in our schools or have children or love each other.

*Go for Zucker!
This film is a huge hit in Germany. But then again, so is David Hasselhoff, so that might not be the best selling point.

Slither
What is it about this movie that compels us to see it? The sheer volume of camp oozing from the previews? The presence of Serenity hottie Nathan Fillion? We just don't know, and frankly, we're a little concerned for our sanity.

Joyeux Noel
Apparently there was a time when soldiers fighting in wars could put aside their differences for one magical night and come together to sing Christmas carols in praise of the Baby Jeebus. That might not go over so well these days, for various reasons.

*Thank You for Smoking
We've been looking forward to this movie ever since we were denied access at SXSW. Aaron Eckhart does smarm so well, and we lurve him for it.

*Austinist recommends. We also recommend these first runs: The Chronicles of Narnia, Dave Chappelle's Block Party, Inside Man, V for Vendetta

Showtimes