Don't Be the LCD: This Week's New Movie Releases!

Slim pickin's today, friends. You can either choose a movie starring Oscar winners/nominees (which of course doesn't guarantee anything), or you can go with movies that cater to the lowest common denominator. Which is apparently pretty damn low these days.

*Inside Man
Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster. Kudos, Spike Lee, for making a movie with one fine-lookin’ cast. (*Ed. Note: We saw a sneak preview of this movie and really enjoyed the nuances and twist and turns of the plots. A smart thriller with a message about morality. Duh, it's Spike Lee.*)

Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
The existence of this movie is based on the assumption that people will actually pay hard-earned legal tender to see it, and if you ask us, that assumption is an unforgivable insult to men, women, and children everywhere. Including cable guys. And health inspectors. And cable guys who inexplicably pose as health inspectors.

Stay Alive
So, it’s about this video game some dude got from a “friend,” and if you die in the game, you die in real life. Uh. Huh. Is this otherwise craptacular movie a clever ruse put on by some “Family Values”-driven organization to get kids to stop playing grotesque, sexist, violent video games and maybe, oh, we don’t know, go outside and get some fresh air and exercise their obese limbs by riding bikes and throwing rocks into the creek and climbing fences and whatever it is kids do when they’re not subjected to mind-numbing, over-produced, pixelated fantasy action? Oh dear, have we said too much??

*Austinist recommends. We also recommend these first runs: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Chronicles of Narnia, Dave Chappelle’s Block Party, The Matador, Syriana, V for Vendetta

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