Campus Eating 101: Red River Cafe

Y'all crack me up.

Gee, Thank you "reader". I write for Austinist for the love of "writing" (many would take issue with what I call writing, I guess) and the love of Austin. IT's fun!

I LOVE OUT FOR GAYNESS!that's my favorite movie after Rushmore.

My last name may kick ass, but have you met my hillbilly family?

alison b. coffey

Dear Alison Coffey,

I understand that you are not monetarily compensated for the time you spend writing for this site, and that you are honestly trying to make life more accessible and enjoyable for anyone who ambles by (even for those who pull up a syntax soap box and go apeshit on esoteric grammatical wondercrap, or simple spelling errors). I like what you write, and why you choose to write it. In short: I appreciate your work.

And your last name kicks ass like Steven Seagal in that movie “Out For Gayness” or whatever it was called.

Thank you for your words,

A Reader

Has anybody mentioned that Red River Cafe isn't actually on Red River?

However you feel about tipping, smoking, grammar, Paxil, or whatever, RR Cafe has some seriously kick-ass key lime pie. Ask them to leave off all the fake whipped cream stuff. Unless you're into that. But the pie itself is a little slice o' heaven. Not too sweet, not too tart. And not that icky fake green you so often see. Mmmmm... key lime pie

sure, i could do that. but I'm lazy. I'm just a blogger not a journalist. an UNPAID blogger. Seriously, I will work harder at this grammar thing. I will 1)read those books about grammar for people like me who blocked out all of 4th grade, 2)stop writing posts at midnight after I've been crying for hours about all the petty people in the world, and 3) give in to the masses and write my posts in ms word and do that cutting and pasting thing you mention.

BTW, no attacking the grammar or typos in my comments! I can only take so much. The Paxil is good, but not THAT good.

Love, Coffey

I appreciate the sentiment of this review. For those of us who spend the majority of our time in overly climate-controlled libraries, a dining respite is sorely needed. Is there anywhere decent to eat around campus, really? Personally, I think RRCafe is pretty shitty, so please bring on more suggestions.

Not to disenhearten the poor author further, but Sir Grammar Dick missed two spelling errors. ("Everytime" should be two words, and hashbrowns is missing an "h"). Can't you avoid the distractingly unnecessary comments about writing style by just writing the article in MS Word first and then cutting and pasting?

(And yes, I know I used passive voice up there, so shut up)

i find the eggs montreal and coffee to be a great sunday hangover cure. awesome. plus they have a smoking patio! a must for the hung-over.

I think I'm going to go to Red River Cafe for dinner for the next five nights in a row. I'll be sure to drop a 50% tip, obsequiously, on my way out. Care to join me, Alison?

Geez. Who knew people could get so riled up about cheap, proximate-to-campus, diner hash?

i think i'm going to kill myself.

Is that "half of"/"half the" rule absolutely correct? Do you have any book or link that would point to the correct usage?

"a revolution in our bourgeois tipping system. If so, then red river cafe is clearly at the vanguard of the revolution and should be applauded as such."

hilarious, sun kai. wonderful.

hey grammar a-hole, that's the most ridiculous, misdirected criticism i have seen in days.

and, really, what is worse than someone calling attention to the fact they have a certain knowledge and that, "hey, sorry, i know it's not cool that i can be a dick about such things, but it really matters to me," and then gets it wrong? jackass.

how about you get half of truecraig's foot up your ass?

Grammar lessons from someone who is too lazy to use a shift key?

Grammar Dick,

Should have been "half of the payment," with a comma between "post" and "please."

Geez. What half-assed criticism.

Wait. I am the company car, and I refuse to be sat in by that guy.

P.S. Red River Cafe sucks so bad, it would probably be improved by being renamed "Medical Arts Cafe."

grammar dick: you can have the company car.

how about "you're" instead of "your" please?

go ahead and send me half the payment you received for this post please.

people who don't like to say how much they are tipping are usually cheap asses wanting to hide their greediness by leaving before the staff sees what they left. Just say 20% and be done with it.

sun kai, i agree with you that it's slightly socially awkward to be put in the situation where you're publicly asked how much you're tipping on your meal. the tipping issue at red river cafe doesn't bother me very much, if at all, because i enter the restaurant knowing that this situation will occur. if it bothers you so much, then maybe you shouldn't visit the restaurant or maybe you should make this problem known to the restaurant's management, but i also realize that you're just giving a caveat to potential customers. either way, it's good of you to let others know what they're getting themselves into before they enter this restaurant that is, as you say, clearly at the "vanguard of the bourgeois tipping system revolution" or whatever the fuck that means.

Hey wait, I originally wrote that the red river cafe, was, of course, NOT on Red River. I guess my editor thought that was a mistake. Will change immediately. hee hee.

you're right andew, I was not paying attention. However I would argue that the social wierdness and risk of customer dissatisfaction resulting from repeatedly subverting standard tipping norms would make the $150 for a new credit terminal an increasingly attractive proposition.

Unless of course you feel its time for a revolution in our bourgeois tipping system. If so, then red river cafe is clearly at the vanguard of the revolution and should be applauded as such.

sk

My intention wasn't to really give a full review, but to a brief overview of places to eat on and around campus. I'm happy that the commenters can fill in some of the holes. Yes, totally half-assed. that was my purpose.

to be more specific than the earlier commenter, red river cafe is on medical arts, not red river. yes, it's very odd.

Wow! What a completely half-assed restaurant review. The Austinist really hits the "who, what, why, when, where" with this piece.

It's great when a reader can gleam more info about the subject matter from the comments than the actual article.

Stan

I think it should be noted it is NOT on Red River.

if you'd paid attention last time you were there, you'd know that they ask if you want to add a tip when you use a CC because they don't have a tip line on the receipt. besides, the cashier is usually not the same person who waited on you.

At first I thought you had written "the menu is pretty expensive" rather than "extensive". The former would have been more apt. This restaurant serves slightly average food at above average prices. They also have the annoying habit of asking if you want to add a tip when you use a CC (rather than waiting for you to do it post-swipe) which isn't too kosher.

Good Breakfast tacos though.

sk