It's always a party: This Week's New Movie Releases!

We're sure you've got all of this Sunday reserved for the Oscars (pre-party coverage starts at like noon, people!), so maybe this weekend you should catch up on all your Oscar-nominated movie watching. But just in case you're in the mood for some flicks that will most likely never win Oscars, here are this week's new movie releases, in no particular order.

16 Blocks
The release of this film makes us imagine that somewhere in Hollywood a secret room exists, a room carpeted in rich velvet and upholstered in pure gold, in which Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford wear garments of the finest silk and toast each other with the world’s most expensive champagne, and laugh and laugh at everyone who pays to see their films, all the while rolling around giddily in mountainous piles of hundred dollar bills.

Aquamarine
When we first saw a preview for this film about teenaged girls befriending a mermaid, we were like, “Oh, so it’s like Splash for a new generation.” But let’s face it, nothing could ever be as awesome as Splash.

*Dave Chappelle’s Block Party
This movie (documentary?) looks very funny, but we fear a revival of 19-year-old white kids saying, “I’m Rick James, bitch!” and thinking they’re hilarious.

Ultraviolet
Hmm, another movie not screened for critics. Let’s see, which recent movies have not been screened for critics? Date Movie… When a Stranger Calls… Aeon Flux… you see where we’re going with this. We’ll admit that Milla Jovovich looks pretty hot. Which is essentially Ultraviolet’s main selling point.

Night Watch
Ahhh, nothing says “Spring is upon us!” like Russian vampires.

* Austinist recommends. We also recommend these first runs: Brokeback Mountain, Cache, Capote, Chronicles of Narnia, Good Night and Good Luck, The Matador, Match Point, Munich, Syriana

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