Apparently There's an Entire World of Music Beyond Austin

Lately, the music industry has been making more moves than a blog editor at a GLO show. Here's a run down on everything you need to fuel your hatred of corporate music and Nashville. If you don’t hate Music City, move there, it took us exactly six hours to develop a serious loathing we allowed to fester for six years.

James Blunt, unsurprisingly called Blunt the C*nt by his sassy British friends, became the first UK artist to reach the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 in nine years. The last US invader was Sir Elton John in 1997, a fitting predecessor for a former naval officer.

Indie darlings TV on the Radio finally caved to major label enticements and signed with Interscope for the release of their new album this spring. Hipsters everywhere donned extra black clothing to mourn their passing.

A Nashville megafest might be the worst idea ever. Have you ever been to Fan Fair? If you don’t have a mullet or ridiculous perm, probably not. All the hipsters would faint at the site of so many neon fanny packs.

The mastermind behind Starbucks music division resigned, presumably driven insane by his own jazzy selections during a wicked mocha binge.

Do you remember Napster? The last time we used it was in a dorm room, when it was free, and we’re still bitter about those random viruses. As if we would ever leave iTunes for that.

Oh, rock stars and their rocking lifestyle. Doing high-brow drugs with supermodels got too boring for Pete Doherty, so he's now stealing cars with teenagers. Getting to second base with born-again groupies got too boring for Scott Stapp, who decided to consult Kid Rock on the fine art of making love to strippers. Unfortunately, young girls never got boring for Gary Glitter.

photo by Jake Brewer