Point Blank: This Week in Austin Theatre

In honor of our nation’s Vice President, Dick “Whoops that was your face” Cheney, and the hullabaloo surrounding his little "accident", we bring you this week’s theatre listings in the style of a Scott “Funny as a heart attack” McClellan press conference!

We were going to bring you these listings yesterday, but were too busy pretending that A) no one would notice B) global warming is “just a theory” and C) God created us all in six days from his left over belly-button lint. Sorry for the delay. DeLay? What DeLay? Who DeLay? Onto the matter at hand...

FINGER ON THE TRIGGER (New this week!)

BAM! [mini]: The Black Arts Movement Mini-Performing Arts Festival is a precurser to an annual festival debuting this September. While our president may not care about black people, that's no reason for you to miss performances by Zell Miller III, the dedication ceremony of the Boyd Vance Theater (we miss you Boyd!) and panel discussions on African American performing arts in Austin. Performances at the Off Center, Boyd Vance Theater, and other venues. Tickets and information via Austix at 474-TIXS or at Pro Arts' website.

THRUSH (a play with slaughter songs): "Scenes from war and after" presented in a spooky bank basement. After hours of thought, we still can't figure out how this relates to our boys in DC, so we'll just tell you to go see it. Presented by Salvage Vanguard Theatre in the Frost Bank Tower (5th street entrance). This show is free, and playing one night only, so hustle up and get more info before it's too late!

THE THING ABOUT MEN: If they get married, it'll probably undermine the institution that is the moral bedrock of our society. But if they make theatre, it's usually funny as shit. So put that constitutional ammendment back in your pocket! A "serious musical comedy" that probably won't contain any jokes about heart attacks. From our friends at Arts on Real. Tickets and info right here, or by calling 472.2787.

ANTIGONE: A play is set against the backdrop of war -- which means it's bringing freedom and/or salvation to someone, somewhere, somehow. This "classic tragedy explores the destructive capabilities of ego and exposes the aftermath of societal decay" and is for "mature audiences only", which is always a good sign. At the Mary Moody Northen Theatre, St. Edward’s University. Tickets and information at 448-8484.

THE SHAPE OF THINGS: Angry theatre about college kids by Neil LaBute. We haven't seen it (yet, but we're reviewing it on Friday, so look out for that next week), but the college kids in it probably don't vote, which is why we're stuck with jackasses like Cheney and McClellen running around shooting their friends and pretending it didn't happen. Grrr. Brought to you by Chick and Dude Productions at the Hyde Park Theatre. Make your reservations by calling 921.4264 or emailing Chick and Dude.

NEW AMERICAN TALENT: Out of hundreds of entries from talented emerging choreographers accross the country, Ballet Austin has chosen three finalists that they'll be presenting this weekend only. Have you heard that Laura Bush used to live in Austin when she was a twenty-something and dealt pot -- like, full time -- as her job? (Forgive us, Ballet Austin, that has absolutely nothing to do with your upcoming performance) This major dance event is at the Paramount Theatre. Tickets at 479-SHOW or at Ballet Austin's website.

TWELFTH NIGHT: "Full of mischief, magic, and mistaken identity." As in, "I mistakingly thought your face was a bird, so I shot it." Classic Shakespeare presented as part of a new partnership between the State Theatre and UT's Graduate Acting Program. It's showing at the State Theatre, and you can get tickets by calling (866) 4GET-TIX.

STILL IN INTENSIVE CARE AFTER A SURPRISE HEART ATTACK: (Still running from last week!)

Note to reader: this post is getting a little long, so instead of more passive-aggressive jabs at "The Man", we'll just give you a quick list.

House and Garden at the Austin Playhouse, A Human Interest Story from the dirigo group, Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh! from Theatre at the J, Rosita's Jalepeno Kitchen brought to you by Teatro Vivo, Dark Goddess from and at The Vortex, Urinetown! at the Zach Scott Theatre, Bus Stop from the Paradox Players, and lastly, but certainly not least, Oh Mother, presented by Forklift Danceworks.