So Cultured It Hurts, Baby: This Week on Stage!

WEEKLY LISTING VIRGINS:

PETER PAN: Omigosh! The actual Peter Pan (you know, the one where Peter flies on stage) is here in Austin! It stars Cathy Rigby, who is -- apparently -- quite famous. If we weren't so jaded, and/or our toddling daughter could sit still for more than 37 seconds, we'd totally go. Feb 7-12, UT Performing Arts Center – Bass Concert Hall. Tickets and such by calling 471-6060.

ROSITA'S JALAPEÑO KITCHEN: A new bi-lingual show from Teatro Vivo. Cool! We're betting this will be more exciting (and funnier) than that stupid Spanglish movie with Adam Sandler. Feb 9-26, Thu-Sat @ 8pm & Sun @ 3 pm. Dougherty Arts Center. Tickets via AusTIX website or by calling 474-TIXS.

A HUMAN INTEREST STORY OR THE GORY DETAILS AND ALL: We interviewed the dirigo group regarding this dramatic endeavor. As such, we now know that A) there're lots of TVs on stage, B) they've corralled some serious acting talent, and C) it looks pretty damn cool. We'll be at the preview tonight, so check back for our fully formed opinion. See it for yourself starting this Friday at the Blue Theatre. Feb 10-March 4. Get tickets at 371-0554 or, if you're a real hipster, online.

THE EXONERATED: The Texas State Department of Theatre and Dance brings us this upbeat comedy of errors (ahem, sarcasm) based on interviews with 40 death row inmates. More and more Texas State actors keep popping up in the Austin scene after they graduate, so get down to San Marcos and check out the stars of tomorrow! Feb 8-11 & 14-18 @ 7:30pm and Feb 12 & 19 @ 2 pm at the Studio Theatre in the Theatre Center on campus. Joyce Ann Brown, an exonerated former death row inmate, will be speaking after the performances on Friday, Feb 10 and Saturday, Feb 11, just to add to the drama. Call the Texas State Box Office at 512-245-2204 to buy yourself some tarjetas.

OH MOTHER: New pregnant dance from Forklift Danceworks. Yes, just in case you were too uncomfortable to ask, that little bump you've noticed on Forklift Artistic Director Allison Orr's belly is indeed a growing baby. She is with child, and she's dancing about it. Advance ticket purchase highly recommended, as we're betting that any chance to see pregnant ladies do modern dance will bring out the crowds. (Seriously.) Two weekends only -- Sat/Sun Feb 11-12 and Sat/Sun Feb 18-19. Café Dance. Saturdays @ 8pm and Sundays @ 5pm. Get your tickets online.

BUS STOP: Let us be the first to call this production "Brokeback Mountain for the straight theatre-lover." According to the Paradox Players, it's "the story of the coming of age of a grizzled rodeo cowboy and the girl who made him a man." Check it out Feb 10-26, Fri-Sat @ 8pm; Sun @ 3pm. Extra show on Valentine's Day, 8pm, for all you lovahs out there. First Unitarian Universalist Church. Hey pardner, git yer tickets right here.

ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE:

GET YOUR WAR ON: If you haven't heard about how awesome this show is, then you suck. It's been held over for three final performances this weekend. Tickets at the Rude Mechs website.

TEN LITTLE INDIANS: So maybe the name is questionable, but it's got Lana Dietrich and Michael Stuart in it, which means the acting will be top-notch. Check it out if you're not too busy seeing Get Your War On. Through Feb 12, Sat-Sun @ 1pm. Austin Playhouse. Tickets by calling 445-9866 or through the magic of the intraweb.

TWO INTO WAR: A "moving" anti-war piece from Different Stages, directed by ACoT Executive Director Latifah Taormina. If you support any of our administration's various military endeavors, this is your last chance to see some theatre that will change your mind. So hop to it. We're sick of all the casualty figures on the news. Jan 20 - Feb 11 at the play! Theatre. Tickets by calling 474-8497 or by visiting the AusTIX internet castle.

NEVER SAY DIE:

URINETOWN: We usually don't go see shows at Zach Scott because we're poor. And we like to consider ourselves "alternative". However, everyone loves this musical so damn much we might just cave and check it out. You should too. Jan 19 - Mar 12 at Zachary Scott Theatre Kleberg Stage. Tickets at 476-0541 or magically, by clicking here.

DARK GODDESS 2006: Legendary weirdo ritual theatre from the Vortex. This is what they do best people! See it before it's gone. Through Feb 25 at The Vortex. Tickets at 478-LAVA or via their website. Please note: There will be a special Dark Goddess Ball featuring dozens of goddesses from prior productions at the theater on Feb 11 from 8pm to 1 am. Sexy!

HOUSE AND GARDEN: Two funny plays from a funny British guy performed simultaneously at the Austin Playhouse. Now that's what we call theatre, baby. Jan 13- Feb 19. Purchase tickets before entering the theatre or risk the wrath of God. 476-0084 or, once again, via internet.

DANCING AT LUGHNASA: Good old-fashioned, straightforward theatre about Irish people. Sam Bass Theatre out in Round Rock. Hmm. We saw a lot of yard signs supporting the ban on gay marriage last time we were up that way, but they can't be all bad, right? Surely not. We hear it's a great show. Tickets by calling 244-0440 or by using the SBCT website.

SHEAR MADNESS: The last time Zach Scott mounted this show, it ran for like a million years. But you never know, that might not happen this time, and we hear the show is funny as all get out. Ongoing. Zach’s Arena Stage. Call for tickets, 476-0541, or if you're afraid of talking to real people, get them here.