Truesday: Therefore I am

And that got my brain to pacing. Everyone should have a handful of places, beyond their toilet, where they mentally turn things over and over. A “thinking rock”. Perhaps a public garden. Canoeing on Town Lake while strumming a ukelele. Whatever. It has taken me quite some time to find mine. My favored places to consider important issues such as:

1. Was Deckard also a skin-job in Blade Runner or no?

2. Are neighborhoods “stolen” or are they “abandoned”?

3. What would I pay for a healthy pet chimpanzee?

You know, the type of questions that honestly require a specific type of environment, feel, and view in order to be properly sorted. For such situations, here in Austin, I have four favorite spots. Four places where my mind can wander wherever it needs to. Five fantastic locations that I wish someone had pointed out to me when I first moved here.

My first one is standing on the 360 Bridge at dusk, looking east. It can be done at any other time of day, and will still have an effect, but it won’t be as grand to me. There’s something magical about being on that bridge, with billions of gallons of duck-weedy water determinedly carving into the cliffs to the left, with the last hints of sunlight dancing on the river top like golden ribbon in the wind.

My word, that sounds both exquisite and very nancy-ish. The balance of beauty and fortitude. The scene is so large, and so much older than I can possibly imagine. Must be why I find it so amazing a spot to consider whether or not Alfonso Ribeiro‘s acting was better in Silver Spoons or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I still haven’t decided. He did so swell in both!

The second is the laundromat on Duval and 43rd, preferably on a weekday evening. There’s something truly fascinating about that crappy little lint-hole, and even though I haven’t been back in years, it visits me in my dreams. Perhaps it was the shear boredom of waiting for those god-awful dryers to work, or the infectious harmonies that would waft up from Quack’s next door whenever they had live guitar pickers, but I thought up some ridiculous shit while my boxers danced with one another. I would just sit out front with a smoke, some coffee, eyes on the people that passed by, and the weirdest shit would come to me.

That’s where I came up with an idea for a magazine that focused purely on travel tips for pregnant women. No, I’ve never been pregnant (fingers crossed!), and no, not all ideas are good. The ideas you create there might fare better than mine. Solar-powered flashlight.

I picked a weekday evening because everyone should get their damn laundry done before the weekend. BEFORE. For the love of god, before.

A good third spot for diving deep into pointless platitudes is the set of floating piers off of Oyster Landing after the bars close. The first thing you should know about this, is that being there is probably trespassing. If that does not concern you, even though it should, then perhaps falling into the murky waters and drowning might. I would never want to willingly promote trespassing or getting unnecessarily wet, so I’m going to pretend I’m doing this against my will.

The water, as it slaps up against the bobbing piers, soothes the confused mind. Helps clarify and remove useless clutter from the thought bubbles of my mind. I’ve made some heady decisions whilst sitting atop those stryofoam-bottomed beauties. That’s where I decided to switch to digital cable, back in 2000. So fucking heady.

The balconies off the bar at The Four Seasons downtown, any time of day. I recommend these balconies mainly because they are technically, a public place, yet the atmosphere screams otherwise. Whenever I would end up at The Four Seasons with my star fucker friends, who were usually there to see if those kitschy Owen brothers were in town, I would just sneak off to one of the balconies off the bar/lounge and admire the view of the river. Very Savannah, Georgia. Impeccably maintained trees towering over a lush, almost as if painted, green lawn that leads down to the lazily passing river.

It’s a gorgeously framed piece of lawn. But what makes it so inspiring and thought-provoking is that 9 times out 10, the drunkest and most homeless looking person can be found sleeping amongst or passing through such a picturesque scene. I’m a big fan of drastic contrast. That, and I might be homeless someday and I like knowing where the choice spots are, just in case.

I need a fifth thinking spot though. I may have used up all the thinking juju that was available in my previous favorites. Times have changed, and I know there’s got to be some newer, better, more worthwhile places to get my thought on. I’ll start my search as soon as these damn allergies stop smoking up my brainspace.