Oh, Baby, Stick It Up My Nose

For years now we have been over -inundated with salt & pepper haired men throwing cats through tire swings or sitting in hot tubs at dusk, frisky as hell, waiting for all that pharmacologically-inspired blood to rush to their johnsons as the missus sits by nervously, er, eagerly, waiting for her gravity-caught-up-to spare-tire-having lover to regain his vigor and mount her like the wild (and loving) animal he once was for a few weeks back in the 60’s. Since the invention of the Little Blue Pill (Viagra) and its subsequent competitors (think: boners lasting four hours or longer require medical attention. Ok. Now stop thinking it.) the sexual re-revolution has been re-born. Baby boomers everywhere having sex. That fat middle-aged dude you work with smiling occasionally now. Teens with internet access ordering cheap drugs from Mexico and dying of heart attacks. Well, the times they are a-changin. And probably not for the better. But, you be the judge.

Say hello to PT-141. Doesn’t it just sound sexy? Something about the sequence of numbers just makes our genitals tingle. Apparently the days of opening up arteries and allowing less constricted blood flow to the penis are a thing of the past. PT-141, a drug in Phase 3 of clinical trials, goes straight to the largest erogenous zone of all: the brain. And it’s easy. You take an inhaler, give yourself a little tap, and within 15 minutes: It. Is. On.

According to women who took part in the study, they felt “genital warmth, tingling and throbbing,” not to mention “a strong desire to have sex.” And that’s just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Men from the study responded like Elmer Fudd seeing Bugs dressed up like a broad. Various participants reported feeling more youthful and invigorated, even being able to “double dip.” One guys said his wife definitely has noticed the difference between Viagra and PT-141, and she has the bruises to prove it. (Last part, editorializing a bit.) Of course, the drug will have side effects. Besides people who would almost never get any actually getting some, and high school boys trying to trick girls into using their inhalers at the school dance, nobody is quite sure. But one thing you can be certain of, there will be more sex. Will this lead to more STD’s? Will it be used dangerously? Will it be another step in a long process of us becoming over-drugged freaks? Will it allow us to falsely create a sense of romance simply so we can have orgasms? Or will it be good? Will it allow us to have sex when we really want to but haven’t been able? You know, like after that wake where you met the really hot chick? Will it genuinely help people with psychosomatic sex dysfunctions? Or is this gonna get ugly? Are we jerking with nature too much here? Come on, Austinites, you randy lot. Let us here from you on this.