It’s, like, Classy, Y’all (Nouveau Riche, Rejoice!)

FINALLY! All those well-heeled socialites and spoiled children can now express their love for all things University of Texas with a little bit of style while spending a whole lot more money. After an apparent clamoring from Coach bag-toting, conch-belt-wearing, botoxed alumni customers everywhere, the University Co-Op is now offering items in their new luxury catalog.

From the Statesman:

Rather than the standard collegiate selection of sweatshirts and pennants, it features items such as a Longhorn billiard table, Longhorn-motif fine jewelry and a burnt orange Vespa scooter. A $3,000 evening gown by Cat Swanson, the Austin-based fashion designer, graces the cover. Swanson, a graduate of the University of Texas, designed a seven-piece capsule collection in burnt orange for the co-op.

Oh, hell yes, y’all! Sometimes when we’re driving three blocks to the grocery store we want to leave our Burnt Orange Hummer in the garage. Finally, we can get one of them fancy Eye-talian scooter things in Longhorange and let our Bevo-bejeweled ears flap in the wind. As long as it’s, like, not too cold to be on a scooter, y’all…like 60 degrees, y’all. Ooh, we wonder if Kate Spade makes helmets for them thingies.