Smoking Ban: Even This Debate Shall Pass

Initially, this post was going to be a rant of sorts. But while writing it, the reality of how complex the Smoking Ban truly is, hit us, violently, in the kidneys. There can be no small summary of how this affects/polarizes us. Hell, WE aren’t entirely sure how to feel about the whole thing. All we know is that eventually, whatever it evolves into will pass into acceptance and adaptations will be made accordingly (repeal, mass patio construction, “the patch” sales beat expectations, whatever).
In the meantime, the debate will simmer as people come to terms with whatever it is they need to square. It is all part of the process. And to us, it’s all about dialog.
Person wanders into random bar in downtown Austin. Wanders up to order a Maker’s and Coke. While waiting for said booze, they light up a cigarette and begin to inhale their stick of paper-wrapped, dried dirt. The bartender makes note of the smoke and keeps working, but a nonsmoking bar patron nearby pipes up. The following exchange occurs.
NONSMOKER: Hey. You can’t smoke that in here. You have to go outside.
SMOKER: [somewhat amused] Ah. No wonder there are no ashtrays in here.
NONSMOKER: [matter of fact] It was passed into law back in September.
SMOKER: What, exactly, passed into law in September?
NONSMOKER: The smoking ban. No smoking anywhere indoors, or within fifteen feet of an entrance of any indoor public space. For the sake of public health.
SMOKER: Right. Public health. What’s that you’re drinking there?
NONSMOKER: Gin and tonic.
SMOKER: Public health…right…
NONSMOKER: Well, I see where you’re going with that, but this is more about those who work in bars, not you and me. I mean, I can just go outside or leave if I don’t like all the smoke indoors. Or, with the ban, YOU can go outside or leave if you insist on smoking. For us, it’s like swapping shoes and shit. So it’s really for those in the industry. Like, the bartenders, wait staff, and performers. They deserve clean air where they work.
SMOKER: Ah. I see. [takes drag off of cigarette, exhales straight up] So, barkeep, is this smoke bothering you?
BARTENDER: Not really. But don’t get me wrong, I kinda like it with the clean air in here and all. Smokers complain, but that’s nothing new. Someone’s always complaining about something around here.
NONSMOKER: [to bartender] So you prefer the ban then? You like it, right?
SMOKER: [also to bartender] Wait, it isn’t really about whether you like it or not, but whether or not it benefits your health. [drags again on cigarette, ashes on floor] Right? That’s the argument here.
BARTENDER: Oh I don’t know about the health thing. I mean, who does? One study says one thing, another says something completely different. Hell, I smoke. So the second hand doesn’t really affect me too much. But we do have two waitresses here, one is pregnant and the other is trying to get that way. It is much better for both of them with the ban, I think. As for my preference, I’d have to agree with the smokers on that one. I’m here to make money, so whatever gets that done is cool by me.
NONSMOKER: But what about your rights, huh?
BARTENDER: I have the right to work somewhere else, too. Always have. I had that right for the past five years I’ve been here, with all the smoke in my face. I had the right to book it then, but I didn’t. If I worked at a circus, I’d have to be okay with smelling elephant shit, you know? It just comes with the territory. On bad nights, I’d open a window and put these two fans on me to blow all the crap outside. No big thing.
SMOKER: What about business though? Has there been a change?
BARTENDER: Hell yes. Our business almost doubled. We have that huge patio out the side there, and it gets thick. We had to hire a new busboy to help handle the flow. But I have friends at smaller bars without patios and they’re taking it directly in the ass. For those in the bar industry, a twenty percent drop in business can be a bounced rent check, know what I mean?
NONSMOKER: That’s the tradeoff though, isn’t it? Some bars can adapt to progress, some can’t. The smart ones will find a way to make the environment safe for everyone and the stupid ones will step aside.
SMOKER: But is this really about safety? Or is it about convenience and comfort. How “unsafe” is second-hand smoke anyway?
NONSMOKER: Studies show that it’s extremely harmful. It’s been linked to cancer. I read that somewhere.
SMOKER: Well, it’s obviously bad for the smoker. [takes a deep, deep drag and then drops the butt to the floor] There’s no doubt about that. Any smoker who says otherwise is full of shit. [smushes butt with heal of shoe] But I think all evidence of damage by second-hand smoke is a bit rigged. I mean, that seems like a HUGE stretch to me.
BARTENDER: I don’t think it matters whether the second-hand smoke does any damage or not. The law went up for referendum. The people voted. And they said to pass the ban. The majority spoke.
SMOKER: How big was the majority?
NONSMOKER: Majority is majority.
BARTENDER: Some say 51%, some say 52%. Depends on who you ask. Splitting hairs if you ask me. But math is math, and that’s a majority in my book.
SMOKER: I see. [pulls another cigarette from pack and thoughtfully places it in mouth] Hmmm…
NONSMOKER: You know, I could report you and this bar right now if I wanted to. You’re both breaking the law.
SMOKER: Endangering your health?
NONSMOKER: Not just mine, [points at bartender and band setting up in the corner] but theirs too.
SMOKER: Right. Let’s see about that. [yelling over to band member setting up an amp] Hey, you give a shit if I smoke in here?
BAND MEMBER: [turns around, a bit surprised, but obviously following conversation from afar] Actually, I like the ban, man. All that smoke jacks with my voice sometimes. One time, someone flicked a cigarette at me during a show and it bounced off my forehead. I was pretty pissed about that. [goes back to setting up amp]
SMOKER: That’s pretty fucked up.
NONSMOKER: That’s not exactly what the ban protects them against, but you get the idea.
SMOKER: [ignoring nonsmoker, to bartender] Does this bother you at all? Your health?
BARTENDER: Again, I don’t know about the health thing. But the bar can get fined five hundred bucks if I let you smoke in here. I could lose my job over this shit.
NONSMOKER: Yeah. You’re risking more than your own health here.
SMOKER: But that’s the ban, that’s not me. That’s like me fining you for NOT letting me smoke in here. That would be pretty fucked up, wouldn’t it?
NONSMOKER: That makes NO sense. You’re violating the law. There was a vote.
SMOKER: Yeah, but the law is just there for the convenience of non-smokers. Bartenders and bands that smoke don’t give a shit. It’s just those who don’t smoke, who are tired of going home smelling like an ashtray after they’ve drunk themselves stupid at a bar. Which even bothers me, sorta ironically, as a smoker. But how is that more than just an inconvenience? It’s an extra load of laundry or dry cleaning, not a threat to your quality of life or rights. [lights up cigarette while looking at bartender]
BARTENDER: [shrugging] I don’t know man. And I don’t really care right now. I just don’t want to get fined or lose my job over any of this shit. Come on man. Seriously. Put that out.
NONSMOKER: I could call them right now.
SMOKER: [jerking back toward nonsmoker]But you won’t. Because you know this is all bullshit too. Plus these bartenders would black-ball your ass.
NONSMOKER: Laws are laws man. You can hate me for it or whatever, but we put up with you smokers for years. We put it up to a vote, the most fair and democratic way, and a decision was made. Now that the tables have turned, you’re just being a sorry loser about the whole thing. We just want our rights to clean air to be defended. It’s for the greater good, so just put it out.
SMOKER: The greater good… When I’m done, I’ll put it out.
BARTENDER: Great. Got that all settled. [to smoker] You drinking another?
SMOKER: Yeah. [begrudgingly puts out cigarette, halfway through it] Make it a double.
NONSMOKER: Make that two.
SMOKER: [looks over at nonsmoker with a raised eyebrow] Greater good?
NONSMOKER: Put them both on my tab.
Comments [rss]
-
spyglass
-
spyglass
-
M1EK
-
spyglass
-
M1EK
-
Spyglass
-
mf
-
truecraig
-
hc
-
truecraig
-
mf
-
truecraig
-
truecraig
-
mamalara
-
spyglass
-
mf
-
spyglass
-
pylorns


