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Trojan Helps Us Prepare for Hurricane Rita

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T - 1 days Until We Party Hard?

This is your friendly reminder that Austinist, with the gracious and sexy help of Trojan Brand Condoms, will be throwing a big bash this Saturday night at the Velvet Spade. We know you have short attention spans. Hey, who doesn't nowadays?! So you'll be seeing this pleasant little reminder every day until it gets down to T- 0.

Our HQ is filled, literally filled, with Trojan condoms. If you have sex or ever plan on having sex in the future, we suggest you come to our party, if only to stock up for the dark times ahead. Tip: spare condoms can be used to keep your valuables dry!

Doors open tomorrow night at 8. Music starts at 9 with PEEL, juicey cocktails will be served with juice from The Daily Juice, and free condoms will rain from the sky. Now that's a plague we can get behind.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@austinist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

Comments [rss]

  • Betsy Markum

    I can't believe it, my co-worker just bought a car for $87510. Isn't that crazy!

  • SplendaRob

    letsdance - you know what I'm getting at. U...S...E... IT IS... ON!!!

    I'll be there dancin up a storm..

    Party people, come on!

  • sara

    If you guys cut down the amount of time you spent bitching anonymously on this board, you'd probably have time to save the world AND come to the velvet spade.



  • letsdance

    U.S.E. was the best show I saw at SXSW this year. It's about ten people onstage and a full on dance party. It's a mix of crazy house music and super fun electro-pop. It is like a dance-y version of Phoenix or Basement Jaxx played by a live band. AMAZING!

  • the_move

    the aformentioned "better" Emo's show will include:

    nebula/ honky/ the mass/ dead boy & the elephant men (in)

    (out) U.S.E. / Kandy Whales / LAX plus DJs and more! (free after ACL dance party)

    hmmmmm, tough choice, but, i think i'd rather go see The Black Angels play one chord for 3 hours

  • SplendaRob

    PPS. We guess, by the time you read this, the aforementioned events will be taking place tonight as opposed to tomorrow night. Sync up your Treos accordingly.

  • SplendaRob

    (taking a tip from the Austinist school of writing)

    On a lighter note, but one that may stir up an equal amount of discussion, there is another (better) free show tomorrow night at Emo's that will be sexier and make you dance your ass off more than the one at Velvet Spade. We'll let you do your own research into it. We don't know what drink prices are at VS (having never been there), but last time we went to Emo's there was one dollar MGD. Rock and/or roll.

    PS. Coldplay sucks.

  • ccmusicfan

    I am quite appauled by this enite discussion, yet feel the need to add my thoughts. I live in Corpus Christi Texas which was evacuated earlier this week and then later the evacuation was lifted. I have two tickes to ACL (3 day passes total = $200). If I left my home to attend the festival I most likely would not have made it their without running out of gas. There is literaly NO Gas between here and Austin (NONE). It would be very selfish of me to take up gas and space on a rodeway from people who need to possibly spare their lives. However I feel that the promoters of ACL are, even beyond selfish, delving into insanely greedy. They are avoiding informing people about the true severity of the situation, acting as though things are just Dandy in Austin. We pretend as though America is soooo kind and giving but ACL promotors or STEALING thousands of dollars from ticket holders who are wisely avoiding a catastrophy. I hope that Austin walks away with mud on their face over this ordeal. Instead of reaching out to help their fellow Texas they are avoiding the facts and Dicking over their most devote fans. There is a time to party and celebrate live music, but less than 100 miles away from severe wind and rain? Come on. They are just asking for big problems, that NO ONE can deny could have been avoided by a simple cancellation. Why not? bands have been calling a cancelling with promotors for the last 4 days and ACL refused to anounce the changes until last night. They still have not posted the big acts who cancelled. Greed and money can sure cause you to make stupid decicions, I thought be learned this lesson from Katrina. I guess not.....

  • anon

    This is the problem with Amercia. Everyone feels we should stop the world to see what happens to poor ol' us. Why can't we be more like the British, you know, bombs go off on subways and people then walk to work. They didn't stop to say look at poor me. Life goes on, do you think the people on the beach in San Diego are staying home becasue it may rain in Texas?

  • totalspice

    hey, everyone should come to velvet spade on saturday, yep, it will be the totalspice.

  • edward

    The people that have tickets and hotel rooms for ACL that can and do get here are needlessly jamming the highways and hotel rooms and no, they're not "just as much 'refugees'" as the evacuees because, except for a small percentage from the evacuated areas, they are here *by choice*. Those that had ACL tickets and hotel reservations that *can't* get here ("quite a few" by your estimation) get screwed out of attending a great fest which they might have been able to make if it had been rescheduled. At least that "silly reservation thing" will let them cancel their rooms so they aren't stuck paying for it. The moral of the story is cancelling the fest now *is* a moot point, but if done sooner could have literally helped thousands of displaced evacuees. It *is* piss poor planning by officials again, but God forbid Attal and Co take some initiative and think on their own to put people in need before $$$. Plus, I'd hope that any real evacuation plan that does ever get developed would involve the temporary postponing (or cancelling if necessary) of major events in the nearest cities to free up resources for evacuees in need. This isn't about some pointless gesture of not going out to eat when people are starving in Somalia. This was an opportunity to *directly* help fellow Texans in need, but ACL dropped the ball.

  • Voice of reason

    For the people who have hotel rooms that CAN get to the city, they are going to be stuck in Austin due to flights being re-routed, diverted, canceled, and delayed over the next few days. They're just as much 'refugees' in Austin as the people driving from Houston. I'd wager that if you're flying Continental (hub = Houston!), you're not leaving on time to go home. And you're not getting here on Friday or Saturday for the show either.

    For the people who have hotel rooms that are from elsewhere in Texas -- if they're still coming, they also will be stuck in Austin for some period of time. I would guess a number of them are not going to make the trek, likely because they're coming from East Texas (and are evacuating, so their vacation plans are ruined) or they're coming from West Texas (and have heard that Austin is being overrun via friends, family, CNN, etc).

    The moral of the story is that canceling the event at this point would open up a minimal amount of fresh hotels rooms. For every person who CAN'T make it to Austin this weekend and who had a hotel room (I know quite a few), the hotels will obviously free those rooms up ASAP because that's how that whole silly "reservation" thing works.

    Instead of wasting your time complaining about Charles Attal & Company, or the people who will be drinking your precious bottled water, or the people who will be (stupidly) jamming to Blues Traveler -- write to your local congressmen and state legislators. Ask them why there is no clear evacuation plan for a coastal city like Houston. Ask them what happens if there is a terrorist attack in San Antonio or if a tornado crashes into Dallas. Ask them how, in a futile attempt to learn from the mistakes of Katrina, they still dropped the ball.

    The reason why people are going to miserable isn't because of the ACL planners -- its because of piss poor planning, yet again, by our elected officials and their horse whisperer campaign donor appointees.

  • odam

    voice of reason coming correct yet again. see (some of) y'all tomorrow

  • edward

    Sean, I am certainly not suggesting that Austinites stay home and wallow on the couch this weekend. I'm sure that the usual suspects will have plenty of beer and music on hand not to mention the much needed debauchery scheduled for the Velvet Spade. Unlike some, I am no advocate of pointless acts of self agrandizing pseudo piety. Austin is lucky to have a huge music fest that brings in some great acts. Let's just postpone it a bit this year. If that doesn't work I guess we're SOL, but worse things could happen, like being stuck in a monumental traffic jam on 290 for 40 hours with no gas and no place within 500 miles to stay. While *you* don't have a hotel reservation for ACL, thousands of local hotel rooms are taken up by this event. It's great that you're putting up a few people, but there are literally tens of thousands of people that have been *forced* to flee in an unprecedented evacuation, all desperate for somewhere south of Ottowa to stay. This is a rare opportunity for the orgainizers of ACL to show some selflessness and compassion and immediately and tangibly ease the plight of thousands, but I have no doubt that they won't. There is indeed an "I" in Austin City Limits and this proves it without a doubt.

  • Voice of reason

    Oh, and how come everyone is complaining about ACL Fest? Why don't you complain about the twice a year onion blossom fest aka the Pecan Street Festival?

    Why don't you ask all the local bands to not play on the KLBJ and 101x stages and for the local fried twinkie makers to stay home? Isn't it pretty rude of THOSE assholes to want THEIR show to go on?

    Be consistent, instead of just being pissed off that your little city is being taken over by a huge Coachella-esque corporate monolith. It's ok if you couldn't afford tickets, hate Coldplay (like every rational person should), and despise the traffic. Just don't hide it behind a thin veneer of "caring".

  • Voice of reason

    Instead of thinking about the water that is going to be sold at ACL, think about all the water Austinites horded from HEB, Randalls, and gas stations.

    You're all morons. Even if we HAD lost water "power", we weren't going to lose our HOMES -- you could easily have taken your old beer bottles, soda cans, and gatorade bottles and filled them with tap water. And put them in the fridge, or cabinets, or on the floor. The people in N.O. didn't have water because their homes washed away (not going to happen in Austin) and then the water supply was under 10 feet of ocean water (not going to happen in Austin).

    Where do you think our water supply comes from? Rain. Rain. And more rain. There would be no adverse affect to OUR water supply and if you stored enough for 2 days in your pots, bottles, cups, buckets, etc -- you would have saved money.

    So instead of looking at ACL Fest and wondering why they have to sell those bottles to music fans -- ask your friends, relatives, and neighbors why they were buying 10 gallons at HEB last night.

  • You are correct, Edward, but remember that "L" is for LIMITS

    As in, people who live here don't have hotel reservations to give up. I'm all for the out-of-towners giving up rooms to evacuees. I may be playing host to a few myself. Since they'll probably bring five cats (and two dogs and bird) to which I am allergic, I'll need something to do away from the house. I would really prefer that something to involve beer and music.

    The only thing I can see getting pissed about is all the water possibly going to paying attendees of ACL instead of people who might need it more urgently.

    I agree it would be nice for ACL to happen later on when the weather is cooler. But as I think you know, big burly men in tights slamming into eachother while tossing pigskins will trump any other public event planning for the rest of the year. I'm afraid it would come down to happening this weekend or next year.

    ps I sincerely hope my comments here haven't jeopardized my parking arrangement :)

  • edward

    Ok, all you think globally/act locally people. Here's your chance. No, we don't have a tragedy yet and we may not, but what we do have *right now* is tens of thousands of people that were *ordered to evacuate* cramming the highways headed for hills because they had no choice. Is it really too much to ask to postpone ACL a few weeks (when it will cooler anyway) to free up some of the thousands of hotel rooms and prevent needless traffic so gramma and grandpa don't have to be on the road 47 hours and drive to El Paso just to find a hotel to crash at. Not to mention saving gas, etc. This is a *real*, *tangible* benefit of postponing this thing that would literally benefit thousands of people. C'mon, suck it people. There is no "I" is ACL...

  • Cocky is such a great word, methinks. Drink up bh! Best of luck to you and all my friends and family holding it down in H-town. I'll be down there next week to help pick up stray shingles and shit. Your comment renewed my (long lost) faith in my hometown.

  • Oooh SNAP!

  • DB

    OK.

  • bh

    I'm in northeast Houston. I'm kinda stuck here due to the terrible setup of the roads here, but if traffic lets up I'll be coming to this thing. We're not offended by other people having a good time. Really. Hell, I'll be drinking booze and listening to rock music myself while this hurricane thing is going down. Provided that I'm not, y'know, buried in rubble or swimming or something. So have a good time, quit worrying about us, and don't be such a douche.

  • chicken little

    yes, cocky is not good. and i know cock.

  • DB

    It's not the gunning to party that bothers me. Believe it or not, I was planning to go to the Velvet Spade on Saturday, and I may still go, based on how things play out. God knows I'd rather drink and dance with a bunch of hotties than wait in gas lines and register "evacuees." But don't be so damn cocky...

  • Deez, I believe we are actually in agreement, up to where your argument ends. Yes, it would be ostentatious to have a concert right next to mass tragedy. But we don’t have a tragedy yet. I’m not going to start lamenting prematurely *just in case*. And if the mayor chooses to have the concert or any other event under his veto-control canceled, then so be it. As for the private parties, book clubs, Scrabble games, camping outings, or anything else people choose to do on their own, well that’s a personal matter for them to weigh based on their own moral scales. No sense in stoning people for not reacting to something (that may not be the disastrous tragedy CNN makes it out to be) differently than you.

    That having been said, understand that the same people who are gunning to party this weekend, who seem callous and uncaring, will be the same people standing next to you, cleaning up and rebuilding things IF it comes to that. There’s no difference between us, contrary to any moral flag-waving.

    Speaking of moral flag-waving: DB, you are hilarious and confusing! Alright! I’m going to dress like Nero for the whole weekend. Sweet.

  • chicken

    we will look for your posts on Boiseist.com in the near future, deez

  • deez

    All things considered, there's a big difference between getting on with one's life without the constant burden of human suffering and holding a concert for thousands of people in the near vicinity of some grave shit. Please don't assume that I don't understand the calamities of the world just because I suggest that the ACL fest might be an ostentatious display of recreation. I don't really understand Summer's comment about murdered babies in Iraq disqualifying me from posting an opinion about the ACL fest. Does this suggest that one cannot prescribe a period of solemnity for local tragedies unless he or she is willing to eradicate the problems of the world as a whole? Aside from these aspects, it is important to consider how the disgracefully managed Katrina evacuations will affect the decisions of local politicians. Craig, I respect your viewpoint a great deal, but do you think that Will Wynn is going to have the same philosophy? My guess is he'd rather look oversafe than tragically incompetant, like some folks in Louisiana and Washington.

  • chicken little

    how is the air up there on your horse, DB?

  • DB

    This thread epitomizes, to me, the utter moral vacuousness of the hipster mindset. I don't think "deez" is against shallow, mindless partying, and lord knows either am I. But here we're faced with, possibly, the worst storm in the last 100 years, and you all are posting pictures of models with condoms between their tits and prattling on and on about how "sexy" the local music scene is.

    I'm sure New Orleans hipsters were just as cavalier and shallow before Katrina. Because I live in Austin, too, I hope you all don't have to learn the same lesson that they did. Either way, I hope you look back on your response to this potential crisis with utter shame.

  • Preach brutha, preach. You have every right, and this place is as good as any.

    And touché for catching the "senseless namecalling" and "insufferable asshole" thing. I am soooo sloppy when it comes to hypocrisy. I'm a cut-rate hypocrite. I admit it.

    To be clear, I would in no way, ever say "fuck it, we're partying" if there was something more constructive I could be doing. But holding my hands out won't stop the hurricane. Neither will incessantly bellowing "look out! There might be danger somewhere!" I’d prefer and wait until I have a reason to suffer before I start the whole suffering thing. Maybe that’s just me. Takes all kinds.

  • odam

    i heart summer

  • "That aloofness doesn't give the situation the gravity it deserves. "

    Dude, how come you're posting on some bright green website when people are murdering each other's babies in the middle east?

    I mean, seriously. Bad things happen every day, all day. We help when we can, and the rest of the time we continue with our lives. That's just the way the world works. Sometimes it makes me sad too, but I can see that you've found plenty of free time in between your volunteering and raising money for charity to come stir things up on a website.

  • deez

    Funny to accuse someone of "senseless name calling and better-than-thou strutting" and follow that up with "insufferable asshole." All of that punchy wit aside, your only point seems to be, "Fuck it. We're partying." That aloofness doesn't give the situation the gravity it deserves. But, as the responses have clearly indicated, I'm not really preaching to the choir.

  • Where do you draw the line, though? It has to be within a certain mileage of you in order for it to be inappropriate for you to continue enjoying live music and drunk hotties? The people who die have to be citizens of your country? Of your race? Because, man, if I stopped partying everytime that innocent people were losing their homes/lives/dignity, I'd be totally straight edge. And, you know, HAHAHAHAHA to that.

    There is room for a lot of things at once, in the world. We can be sad and we can help those in need and we can protest and we can listen to music and we can use free condoms -- ALL IN THE SAME WEEKEND, if we want.

    That's all I got.

  • Oh man! I ended up saying "shiting siva"! Ha-ha-ha! That's so awesome! Troll bait is DELICIOUS.

  • Merkin

    I can't see the callousness in celebrating life and the redeeming power that music can have, even in the midst of potential tragedy. Death, destruction and despair are constants and will affect us all, but why turn away from something that could be so joyous and uplifting?

    I'm not saying that tragedy (personal or more abstract) should be shrugged off, but let's try to achieve some type of transcendence instead of wallowing in it.

  • Everyone who's fallen for deez's troll-bait by responding to his(her?) comments has to say "sitting shiva" ten times fast.

  • deez

    Yes, I would suggest that ACL be cancelled, out of caution and compassion. My early comments excluded me from the responsibility of the situation, and for that I apologize. I meant to raise a serious question.

  • deez

    Yes, I would suggest that ACL be cancelled, out of caution and compassion. My early comments excluded me from the responsibility of the situation, and for that I apologize. I meant to raise a serious question, and I could truly give a fuck less about being noble to anyone else.

  • Deez, you bring up a good question (however poorly formed, crude, or fear mongering it may have initially come across). Should we go on with an event (ACL and related party-type things) while those who live in coastal cities lose their homes (possibly their lives, if they stayed home)? Good question.

    Do you have an answer, or are going to continue the senseless name-calling, better-than-thou strutting, and generally acting like an insufferable asshole? Because the whole finger-pointing thing is getting really tired. And this is a serious question, not some of that hipster irony/sarcasm crap I keep hearing about.

  • chkn

    bad things are happening all the time, constantly everywhere! what would sitting shiva for houstonians be worth?

  • deez

    Vitriol is not the word you mean to use. I am not being caustic or sarcastic. I intended to raise the question of whether or not it's right to go on with an event that is rather frivilous while people really close to us are about to experience serious trauma. And it doesn't make a difference which band name I use, because it's all the same thing. Does it matter if it's Coldplay or Arcade Fire? That is kind of a snobbish way to avoid the question.

  • Allen

    I'm sorry, Coldplay?

  • chicken little

    there's deez again...all full of self-righteous vitriol. god loves you the most, deez. you will get a special seat in heaven cause you care more than everyone. how noble.

  • deez

    Yeah, well said! Because it's all about you and your freedoms! And supporting Coldplay and Bloc Party! Fuck guilt, we're "Hedonists!"

    You hipsters are such a farce.

  • Bre

    Well said, truecraig.



  • I'm putting "pre-emptive natural disaster party guilt comment" on my Austinist Bingo Card.

  • They already evacuated Galveston, the surrounding counties, and parts of Houston (mandatory). We all have friends and family on their way here.

    When hurricanes hit, homes are lost. If we are lucky, that is ALL that is lost. I don't think it necessary to remind everyone of yet another thing we have absolutely NO control over. Preemptive guilt is probably not going to help anyone anytime soon. Or ever, for that matter.

    Anyone who wants to party, and can, should feel free. If you'll feel bad about it, then DO something about it. Then again, I'm a hedonist, so that guilt shit is wasted on me.

  • sam

    If they evacuate Galveston and people lose their homes, are you going to be at a party? Does it seem callous to go on with our rock music when a national emergency has been declared?

  • These aren't reminders my friend. They're warnings. Booze and music and sexual prophylactics and eeeeevil dancing will be involved! It's all so... wicked.

  • Thank you for posting frequent reminders of this event, lest it fall from our collective mammary.

  • odam

    yes, me, too. very, um, baroque.

  • Kat

    I like her bra.

  • mark hammer

    will the model from the post be there?

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