Austinist: H to the Iz-Off

edward

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 10:48:54 -0600

I know you all may be disappointed that the rap album is a hoax, but don't fret. You can get an infinite amount of David Hasselhoff from the Hasselhoff Recursion. Excuse me while I go gouge out my eyes.

truecraig

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 09:13:14 -0600

Andy goddamn Rooney [60 minutes, to the uninitiated]. That bastard's just plain MEAN sometimes. He can have my babies.

SN

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 18:44:46 -0600

Aw right, check out October McClellan’s Spin magazine for their review of D-J Con-D'z new CD "Duets with the Privileged and Affluent". Here are a few choice quotes to whet your appetite... ...powerful, crunked up take on Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar" is guaranteed to join "Proud to be an American" in every July 4th fireworks playlist this year... ...Her sexy, soulful duet with Laura Bush, "He's eating crackers and Rice", puts the ass back in nasty... ...working with co-rapper Big Mamma Bush and vocalist Colin P, she elevates rap to true poetry with poignant lyrics such as "Why should I trouble my beautiful mind? Why should I cancel my shopping spree? They were underprivileged to begin with, so this is working out pretty well for them", perfectly capturing the true magnitude of the recent events in New Orleans and their effect on the rich in the standout final song "Inconvenienced - Diamonds (on the souls of her shoes)(It's fun to stay in the) Y.M.C.A. (Katrina smashup version)"

modam

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 16:49:25 -0600

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thought it might be fake. maybe because i saw it in the corrections part of Annanova, but i could not find clarification. in the meantime i will keep on dreaming it's true. dang you, summer!!!!!!! i love the condi idea though, but she needs to make it a thugged out duo with maybe, hmm....the coz

Summer

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 16:46:13 -0600

I hate to be that one girl who does this, but this is an aged legend... and according to Hassel the Hoff's official website: "May 26, 2004....Message from David p.s. Contrary to recent reports, I am NOT making a rap album. I don't know how these stories get started! -D." Still, that said, I would be pretty jazzed if Condi Rice made a rap album. Just imagining that gives me goosebumps.

Miggo

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 16:13:37 -0600

I heard the album via his website! Oh my god! If there is music in heaven, I swear that Hassle the Hoff's rap debut will be playing in one continuous loop that will reek of pure awesomeness. Not since the Macho Man's album, have I heard such a joyous and wonderful style of gangSTA rap...Look out Fitty (LOL) The former Baywatch star takes you to places you've never been with this album and I'm sure that once you hear it, you'll realize that this album will be the new soundtrack of your life. I will go on a limb and even say that track #4 might even solve the world hunger problem. What am I saying...might? It WILL solve world hunger AND find a cure for numerous STDs. Once this album drops, Hassel the Hoff will be a household name. Be ready America! Plus, Hot Shot City (Niggahz Wanna Fight 2006 Neptune Mix) is particularly good.

sas

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 15:23:28 -0600

We'll know he's really made it as a rapper when Terry Gross interviews him for Rap Week, I suppose. Who else would you like to see (not)make a rap album? Dr. Phil, Michael Douglas