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J. Tillman at the Mohawk - Giveaway
Yea, so maybe this has next-to-nothing to do with Austin, but we ARE (allegedly) the Live Music Capital of the World, so get off our nutz. Anywho…The Sun has reported that legendary gangster rapper Ice-T is set to produce a new rap album. But it’s not just any rap album, it is the debut rap stylings of one David Hasselhoff. As you probably know, the lecherous home-permed former Baywatch director/producer/star is HUGE in Germany, having released seven albums to wildly populärer beifall (that’s “popular acclaim,” to the uninitiated). Ice-T, who has probably already lost serious street cred for playing the 5-0 in Law & Order: SVU is sure to be relegated to the ranks of such gangster legends as Vanilla Ice after this one. Apparently the two guys live in the same neighborhood and are quite close. Ice-T supposedly said he was impressed with the way, the newly monikered, “Hassle The Hoff” “regulates those big breastesed bitches.” Word.
Who else would you like to see (not)make a rap album?
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We'll know he's really made it as a rapper when Terry Gross interviews him for Rap Week, I suppose.
Who else would you like to see (not)make a rap album?
Dr. Phil, Michael Douglas
I heard the album via his website!
Oh my god! If there is music in heaven, I swear that Hassle the Hoff's rap debut will be playing in one continuous loop that will reek of pure awesomeness. Not since the Macho Man's album, have I heard such a joyous and wonderful style of gangSTA rap...Look out Fitty (LOL)
The former Baywatch star takes you to places you've never been with this album and I'm sure that once you hear it, you'll realize that this album will be the new soundtrack of your life. I will go on a limb and even say that track #4 might even solve the world hunger problem. What am I saying...might? It WILL solve world hunger AND find a cure for numerous STDs. Once this album drops, Hassel the Hoff will be a household name. Be ready America!
Plus, Hot Shot City (Niggahz Wanna Fight 2006 Neptune Mix) is particularly good.
I hate to be that one girl who does this, but this is an aged legend... and according to Hassel the Hoff's official website:
"May 26, 2004....Message from David
p.s. Contrary to recent reports, I am NOT making a rap album. I don't know how these stories get started! -D."
Still, that said, I would be pretty jazzed if Condi Rice made a rap album. Just imagining that gives me goosebumps.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i thought it might be fake. maybe because i saw it in the corrections part of Annanova, but i could not find clarification. in the meantime i will keep on dreaming it's true. dang you, summer!!!!!!! i love the condi idea though, but she needs to make it a thugged out duo with maybe, hmm....the coz
Aw right, check out October McClellan’s Spin magazine for their review of D-J Con-D'z new CD "Duets with the Privileged and Affluent". Here are a few choice quotes to whet your appetite...
...powerful, crunked up take on Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar" is guaranteed to join "Proud to be an American" in every July 4th fireworks playlist this year...
...Her sexy, soulful duet with Laura Bush, "He's eating crackers and Rice", puts the ass back in nasty...
...working with co-rapper Big Mamma Bush and vocalist Colin P, she elevates rap to true poetry with poignant lyrics such as "Why should I trouble my beautiful mind? Why should I cancel my shopping spree? They were underprivileged to begin with, so this is working out pretty well for them", perfectly capturing the true magnitude of the recent events in New Orleans and their effect on the rich in the standout final song "Inconvenienced - Diamonds (on the souls of her shoes)(It's fun to stay in the) Y.M.C.A. (Katrina smashup version)"
Andy goddamn Rooney [60 minutes, to the uninitiated]. That bastard's just plain MEAN sometimes. He can have my babies.
I know you all may be disappointed that the rap album is a hoax, but don't fret. You can get an infinite amount of David Hasselhoff from the
Hasselhoff Recursion.
Excuse me while I go gouge out my eyes.