All That Glitters is Not Gold...Maybe

The director of the Tour de France has launched a serious allegation against Lance Armstrong, seven-time winner of the prestigious race. In the French sports daily, L’Equipe, Jean-Marie Leblanc says that Armstrong has "fooled" the sports world and owes his fan an explanation. The allegation? That Lance’s urine sample recently tested positive for a banned performance-enhancing drug known as erythropoietin, or EPO. EPO is a red blood cell booster, thus allowing the user’s muscles to get more oxygen. But this "proven scientific fact" gets a little strange from there. To begin with, Armstrong is a frequent target of L’Equipe. They have made insinuations in the past regarding Lance’s supposed use of banned substances, but they have never been bold enough to state it as fact. The strangest part of the story comes from the fact that the urine samples that supposedly tested positive for EPO are six years old. Six…years…old. These allegations have now only surfaced because there was never a test to detect EPO...until last year. So what does Lance have to say about all the hubbub? Armstrong called the article "tabloid journalism. I will simply restate what I have said many times: I have never taken performance-enhancing drugs." Sheryl Crow could not be reached for comment.

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By Rod Barrera in Other on August 24, 2005 4:13 PM 0 Comments

Comments [rss]

shutgunst1

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truecraig

Sweet Jesus, p! We'd have to break knees just to get out of the bowling alley... Those atheists don't fuck around, man.

p of windsor

I like the name. We could have jerseys with fake names of steroid abusers like, "Slammin Sammy, Lazer Lance, Cajoling Canseco, Roided Raffy"

Of course we would start every tournament with the Pledge of Allegiance (it would be mandatory to say "UNDER GOD") to make sure and offend any atheist bowling enthusiasts. Our fans would hold up signs supporting steroid abuse, white supremacy and Satan.

truecraig

Hammer, sarcasm is sooooo overrated. Like Lindsay Lohan, absinthe, or cock rings.

Should we call our bowling team "Juice De Lance?"? (

Sorry Rod. This comment joke was old before it started. And now it's dead in the water. Moving on.

mark hammer

i heart p of windsor.

i also have no concept of sarcasm, sadly. it would make all of the rejections i get form women so easier to understand

truecraig

I would totally go bowling with The Hammer and p. We could start a league. We could average 90's in our games and break the knees of our competitors in the parking lot out back.

We would be awesome. Think about it guys. Seriously.

p of windsor

Mark in the house! Bringing down the "Hammer"!

You are a good writer who uses big words! You should write a book - I would like totally buy it!

mark hammer

"drugs"? what a miopic vicarious-living idolizing nationalistic douchebag you are, p

p of windsor

What are freedom fries?

If I'm correct, these "drugs" were found in Lance's room SIX YEARS AGO. This is stupid.

Jubcha

They have been able to test for EPO since 2001.

Why wait until now to test the 1999 sample?

Also, under this goofy scenario, Lance cheated to win in 1999, but won in 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2005, testing CLEAN for EPO? We know what happens to athletes when they go off the juice, and Armstrong doesn't fit that profile.