Austinist: Drunken El Nino and the Kiddie Pool

KenJi

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 01:28:22 -0600

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Justin

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 13:47:17 -0600

get it? "mispelled." arrrgh.

Justin

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 13:46:16 -0600

All of you mispelled Livejournal. ALL of you.

truecraig

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 12:00:44 -0600

Hi Pfft: I support your opinion that my work is “bad”. Feel free to dislike my writing, stories, and cologne choice. Feel free to continue your comments, telling everyone how much you hate it. But if you continue to do it in a vacuous and pointless manner, I will put you in your place EVERY – SINGLE – TIME (fair is fair, if you don’t like it, move to China where interactive forums are a rare bird). As an aside: your last sentence is an interesting one. Almost as if you are trying to say that being an asshole is okay if it's anonymous (as in: you?), but "nearly evil" if you admit it openly (me, I am assuming). I've never heard someone be so bold in their hypocritical defense of puppy-kicking vanity before. I think I'm in love (being “nearly evil” and all, I’m attracted to such traits). Edward: Thanks for the support, but your logic seems to rise to blind eyes. Some people really get off on trying to be goodcritics (few build, the rest critique). I’m all about critics (GOOD ones honestly intend to improve things, the rest are making it hard for the GOOD ones to be recognized), which is why I have no problem with negative comments, as long as they aren’t inane “man, this post sucks”, “I want my three minutes of life back you dick!”, or “Gayness”. Because those, by definition, are just random, insubstantial complaints. They aren’t critiques. “am” was the only one, by definition, who had a critique of any real substance. Everyone else was just bellyaching the same ol’ tired-ass “no one wants to hear this stupid shit, so stop insulting me and my brilliance.” Which is absolutely ridiculous as a critique, and anyone who cannot see that is beyond the reach of logic. Now, for other crybabies in the wings, waiting to post “man, this story just made me hate the human race”, put the fucking Kleenex away and hold your pointless complaints until my next post. I’ll have another one done for you by tomorrow so you’ll have a fresh canvass to cry all over. For the love of Pete, it’s like running a daycare sometimes. How about we end this thread right here, eh? Yes? Yes.

edward

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 10:55:12 -0600

Why don't all of y'all just shut up and do it already?! Hate and love are just two sides of the same coin, otherwise all of you tc bashers would have moved on by now. Honestly, if it's not your bag why waste your time reading it and bitching about it. TC doesn't come to where you work and knock the donkey down.

Pffft, again.

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 10:45:23 -0600

Hi Truecraig. I can vouch for one comment from above, but our employer has hundreds of people...So, it's not all the same singular person who didn't like your post. My comment above was simply my honest opinion about your subject. Sure, I can scroll on and will in the future, but I love Austinist and read most postings. Anyway, to see bad work on a site I like was just a let down. But, at this point, not nearly as bad as seeing your personality come out in reaction to the comments, which is nearly evil (and exactly why people don't post their real names).

truecraig

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 18:48:31 -0600

It never ceases to amaze me how many big-word slingin' crybabies seem completely incapable of using their fucking mouse to scroll. You figured out the interweb, right? Pretty simple, right? Well? Scroll, Red, scroll. I'm "confident you're capable".

Red

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 17:53:55 -0600

Wait a minute, did my browser slip? I could read this kind of blather on any Gen-Y-er’s megalomaniacal homage to his own (generic) delirium. We go to Austinist for, well, stuff about Austin. So sober up--or at least ignore the “idiocy raging in [y]our brain”--and quit insulting our intelligence because we’re confident that you’re capable.

truecraig

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 16:54:21 -0600

CJ!: Technically, we do have a company car. And you're already driving it, remember? Let Matt know when you're done with it since he called dibs. I kid because I love! My Friday night victim: Fantastic of you to make an appearance here! So gracious! And since there's so much anonymous hatred floating around this post, it's GREAT to finally have some identified and justified hatred show up! So, so sweet!

Ray-chul

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 16:20:04 -0600

Hey ASSHOLE, Fuck those that don't enjoy a Friday night as well as we do. And I must say, the fact that you can compose most of what happened that night (in your own wacked opinion or should I say y'alls) is most impressive. The "we" thing has to go because it was ALL your fault. I must say that the tumor on my knee continues to ooze and stain everything I own. But what's even better, was yesterday as I helped restrain an 8-year-old (with super-human strength) along with three other adults on the floor for 45 minutes on my knees. It's truecraig, I fuckin' hate you. But thanks for making me laugh out loud many times as I read your story. I like when folks look at me like I'm challenged (I almost typed it).

CJ

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 15:29:17 -0600

wait...there is a company car????

truecraig

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 14:35:20 -0600

Penguin: I'm not sure that it's a man... it might be a rabid bear that broke in and hacked the network. Who knows. mamalara: some people LOVE to make anonymous and pointless criticism over free-reading on the interweb. It's a strange way around boredom, I suppose. Even idiots have hobbies (mine's chewing on old shoes). If there was a camera on that pool, I want a copy of that night. Good times, good times...

mamalara

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 13:51:09 -0600

who gave the grumpy ol' man in training a computer? yeah, as if anyone cares you are mad you did something no one made you do. kinda makes you look stupider... I gotta wonder if the pool was there for drunk fishing? there was a hidden camera maybe?

penguinsaurus

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 13:18:47 -0600

your comment to the man-o-many names cracked me up. it still is!

truecraig

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 13:10:00 -0600

Hey, fucko (jaco, pfft:;::, Worst Post Ever), I am all about free expression. That's why I put a gun to your head and MAKE you read my stories. And it is in that spirit of support for your freedom that I am going to share with you a very simple piece of advice: why don't you try commenting from DIFFERENT FUCKING IP ADDRESSES SO IT ISN'T SO GODDAMN OBVIOUS A) who you and your employer fucking are and B) so that your multiple douche-balloon-comments can at least APPEAR to be from different people. Fourteen year-olds are sneakier than your dumb ass.

Jaco

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 12:33:15 -0600

wow what complete crap. thanks for posting. shouldn't you be on a chat board with this material.

truecraig

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 16:48:17 -0600

It's a magic carpet, actually. Woven from strands of Unicorn hair.

Bre

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 16:38:31 -0600

Um, I maxed out the Austinist corporate card. Sorry. Hey, heroin and porn ain't cheap, ya know!

Allen

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 15:42:07 -0600

not the company car!!!

truecraig

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 15:17:48 -0600

Dear disgruntled readers of this Austinist post, I am sincerely hurt that your time and money have been completely wasted by my stories. I understand your pain, and am genuine in my regret that you have been so wrongly slighted by me. As a token of my true and deep apology, there will be checks sent to each of your anonymous addresses as reimbursement, straight from the fat paychecks that I received for each article that stabbed your eyes and soul. In fact, I will personally pay you each 5,000 x my yearly Austinist salary. If this is not enough, I will give you the Austinist company car, use of the Austinist corporate card, and access to my downtown Austinist office parking space forever. Please send me your personal home addresses so that I may ensure safe delivery of your well-deserved restitution. You are all heroes in my heart. Now go back to work. My condolences, truecraig

truecraig

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 15:08:10 -0600

FANTASTIC! A: I (we) would never assume you meant that, thanks for clearing it up though! caleaelena: I am doomed on many levels, and that does not bother me in the least. am: I agree that the whole "we" convention is a bit tricky at times, but I see it as much harder to write than to read. It's pretty fucking awkward. Thanks for agreeing, but that's how franchises work. We all gotta wear the same uniform and shit. What can we do, eh?

Suckage

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:41:40 -0600

No one cares that you got a hankering for drunk munch. Ooh, stayed late at happy hour. Ooooh, got hungry for a little known place called Best Wurst. Are you going to tell us that college kids like to hang out on sixth street next?

am

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:36:32 -0600

truecraig, we am your father.

Worst post ever

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:11:04 -0600

Truecraig! I rolled my eyes so hard they hurt after reading that (reading: aka rapid scrolling). So bad.

pffft:;:'

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 14:03:32 -0600

One thing I hate hearing (much less reading) is someone's adventures in drunk-land. It's as difficult as listening to someone describe the dream they had last night. You listen to the 1st 2 seconds then go "um-hmm" every so often until they shut up. But, none of the other posts by this person have been good either. Lesson learned: won't open another thing written by "truecraig" again;-)

caleaelena

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:36:17 -0600

Giggle. That's good stuff. Although I must say you were quite obviously doomed long before you ever came upon the kiddie pool.

A

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:15:03 -0600

Hey - I didn't say it TOPPED the RWA recaps. Those are untouchable, indeed. But to even come close is admirable. And you (collective you, of course) have come close. Kudos.

truecraig

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:06:40 -0600

A: NOTHING tops the RWA recaps. They are golden, and untouchable. I am flattered by the comparison. Sean: Stop playing the saint [tab fisher]. am: I can hardly stand any of that which I shit either. I've never tried to read it though. Fascinating. Whoever you all are, I recommend flushing it instead.

am

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 12:54:53 -0600

We can't stand anymore of this we shit. It's stupid and unreadable. Stop it.

sean

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 12:48:22 -0600

that's the last time I open a tab with you around.

A

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 11:34:58 -0600

Nice synopsis. That story seriously rivals the RWA recaps. Fuckin' El Nino.