A Gaudy Vomitorium Of A Movie

We were desperate to see a new movie this weekend, and as the film industry seems to have turned its back on the kind movie-going public, our pickings were slim. We didn't particularly want to see Rob Zombie's new movie, The Devil's Rejects, but it was playing at a convenient time and at a convenient place, and we were conveniently under the influence of something that caused our ability to judge things to be somewhat impaired. In other words, we were in the target demographic.

Here's the thing. Several of our friends, when we expressed our dismay that Rob Zombie had been given permission to make another movie after the hideously bad "House of 1000 Corpses," told us that this movie was supposed to be way better.

"It's like, totally awesome for what it is," they said.

"Yeah, the reviews said that for a movie like this, it's awesome."

Even Roger Ebert agreed with a "B" rating:

Here is a gaudy vomitorium of a movie, violent, nauseating and really a pretty good example of its genre.

So, we went and saw it. And they were right. For a movie which consists of tangentially connected scenes of brutal and graphic torture committed by a stereotypical redneck cult guy, a psychotic clown, and a blonde bimbo that takes place in a unrealistic brothel and looks like it was shot on a camera phone by someone with a degenerative muscle disorder, it is totally awesome. What we didn't realize is that what Ebert was saying was essentially, "If you like to have hot pokers stuck into your eyes repeatedly, I know a great place that will do just that!" Either that or, "Gotta get your face sliced off and made into a halloween mask? Go see George, he's the best totally insane murderer I know!" Get it? It's like saying that the terminal cancer you got is the best kind of terminal cancer to get because it will cause your brain to explode in a shimmering orgy of offal during your next birthday party, splattering your loved ones with gore and traumatizing them so badly that they spend the rest of their days rocking back and forth and drooling.

Have we made ourselves totally clear?

President Baby Killer is the best baby killing president ever! He kills babies the best! A+ for baby killing skills!

If you want a proper review, we suggest this one, by someone who seems to be one of a few reviewers who understand the concept of writing a negative review of something that is bad. The moral is, don't go see this movie. Thank you for tolerating us. Happy Monday.

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By Ben Brown in Arts & Entertainment on August 15, 2005 10:06 AM 0 Comments

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Miggo

"If it was MEANT to be a horrible movie that most people would be disgusted by and is only targetted at a select few who like to download fake snuff films off the internet, why market it so heavily and release it in major theatre chains?"

Fake Snuff? Ouch, dude...that's not what I meant with "bloodlust". The people who this movie was targeted to (I'd say primarily male demographic, 16-25, eh?), all went out and saw it opening week...hell, I know I did. Unlike others, I knew exactly what I was going to see on that screen. I knew I was gonna see a cesspool of violence, smut, and a cruel, vulgar killing spree by the main hellbilly trio from the first movie. And I was okay with that. Hell, I bought a package of Jujyfruits to enjoy while watching the sadistic mess! That doesn't make me a bad person, OR characterize me as a pervert who gets off on seeing people getting hacked into tiny bits, does it?

And the marketing thing could be summed up with this. Mtv + Rob Zombie + Friendship = MASS MARKETING! "'Nuff said." (Stolen from a wise man)

I guess I'll have to agree with your friends. But, I will, however, be the first to agree that this movie is a filthy, perverse, and disgusting...but yet still somewhat fascinating and enjoyable. Go for the psychotic gore, go for the demented clown, go for constant shots of Sherri Moon's ass...or at least see it when it comes out to DVD. It's not THAT bad. Just be prepared for what you're about to watch.

Ben Brown

See, I just don't buy that justification. If it was MEANT to be a horrible movie that most people would be disgusted by and is only targetted at a select few who like to download fake snuff films off the internet, why market it so heavily and release it in major theatre chains? I think reality lies closer Rob Zombie and his cohorts not knowing what the fuck they're doing, and a movie industry too lazy and greedy to care.

Miggo

Tooty Fucking Fruity!

Didn't like it? That's too bad.

You should of tried to take it for what it's worth: A movie intended to shock and possibly disgust the general audience. And for the crowd who went to see it to feed their bloodlust...they were happy!

Zombie knows who to play the movie towards, and even though it was never intended to be a HIT, it still is worth a watch. Perferably with a full crowd (which makes these types of movies 10x better....sometimes) With the crowd I saw Devil's Rejects with, they all groaned in unison with the gore, they laughed at all the appropriate times, and all jumped and screamed "HELL YEA!" during the...um...splatter moments.

There are some spots which made no sense, and a couple of scenes of atrocious acting (Mother Firefly's scene at the jail...ACK!), but overall, it was exactly the movie it was intended to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Ebert hit it right on the nail.

TronColtrane

Zombie or Redneck?

Ben Brown

God, I hope not. It's so bad.

Kat

Sooo..., we'll be seeing it on the Sci-Fi Channel, like, tomorrow?

truecraig

So.... I take it you didn't like it? You speak in such twisted riddles! I need a solid opinion on this piece of experimental cinema! STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH MR. BEN BROWN!

Seriously, I hear it's a good flick on absinthe. But that's just what I heard around the campfire.