![_It's a Hoot Night: The Kinks at Hotel Vegas [Show Preview]](http://austinist.com/assets_c/2012/05/thekinks-thumb-250x250-716040.jpg)
Open Letter to Club Deville.
To begin, please allow us to plant our lips firmly on your dingy brown eye. You are, far and away, [yet amongst many others] our favorite of all booze vendors. Anywhere [caveats all over that one]. At any point in time [after the second round]. Your heavy pour has made many a Friday night completely forgettable. Not because we needed to forget it, but because we both wished it that way. Just because. Because there is so much love between us. Let us count the ways, shall we? Yes.
We are always surprised by the ever-expanding fist-shaped holes that adorn your restroom walls, mirrored up from the lake of questionable liquid that covers the floor. You always tell us “oh, the air conditioning must be leaking again,” but we never buy that shit. We can plainly see the source. And it is definitely the dubious seal at the base of that evil, gurgling toilet. And to your credit, it is always fixed soon after we have made sufficient fun of it. For this comic relief, we sincerely thank you. But you should consider taping that bad-boy off permanently, as your establishment clearly does not exude “hi, we’re dooce-friendly” vibes anyway.
Your selection of whiskies, while not the deepest in a five-block radius, certainly warrants some kudos. And again, the heavy pouring from those magical vessels of moral relief is always welcome in our double old-fashioned glass. We don’t even mind if there’s a chip in it. Seriously. Don’t throw that away, for we might be forced to cry if you do.
In most Austin establishments, the offering of local beers is usually a joke, offered up to lazy tourists who do not know that most local beers are far from delicious (hello, Copper Tank). But your decision to roll with the Real Brewery to supply your micro-brew needs is bested only by the supreme efforts of your rough-and-tumble brother-in-booze, Lovejoys. Feel not ashamed for taking the silver medal in this category. After all, they don’t serve heavily poured liquor, which really is your specialty. And in our book, that puts you on the top shelf of all top shelves.
But really, all this ass-kissing is really just an apology for that one time we mangled a bar stool and peed on the fence out back. We honestly thought the stool was a wild bear, and the battle between us caused too much exhaustion to wade through the lake in front of the urinals. Really, you’re extremely lucky we were unarmed and didn’t shoot the thing, or relieve ourselves on the back bar instead.
Bygones. Seriously, let’s stay friends. BF’nFF? Swell!
Comments [rss]
-
truecraig
-
cp3
-
madtown
-
Jen
-
eva
-
truecraig
-
Alison
-
Stephanie
-
vance
