Juiced! Rafael Palmeiro Busted for Steroid Use

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Major League Baseball has finally decided to go after more than benchwarmers in its search for the truth about steroids in the game. MLB is suspending former Texas Ranger Rafael Palmeiro for 10 games for violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Considering Jose Canseco fingered Palmeiro in his book Juiced as being one of the players he instructed in the ways of steroid use, we doubt seriously that he is being suspended for using Viagra, which he endorses.

We are happy to see MLB finally take a stand against anabolic steroids, and in this case, doing so against a future Hall of Famer. And we are furious at these self-righteous baseball players for lying to our faces, all the while acting as smugly as possible. It was just a few months ago that Palmeiro sat in front of Congress and indignantly chided them for wasting his time in bringing him in front of its panel, saying he had never used steroids ever!

Looks like Surreal Lifer Canseco is not quite the thug people thought he was. We are betting Mark McGwire’s nuts must be the size of a sunflower seed right about now.

The true irony, and most sickening part of these new allegations, is that Palmeiro just last month became the fourth player in history to reach 3,000 hits and 500 home runs. Well, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron and Eddie Murray he is not. We can no doubt put an asterisk next to this man’s accomplishments, and as many a great writer and certain friend of Austinist (thank you, John Pope) has stated in the past, just multiply the power numbers by 2/3 for the men of this era because cheating was undoubtedly rampant. We are happy to see league officials working in good faith to clean up America’s Pastime.

So, it is becoming quite apparent that many of these great players have had their career numbers enhanced by steroids. With that said, do these guys still have a place in the Hall of Fame. We say just multiply by 2/3 and move on. What do you think?

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By matthewodam in Other on August 1, 2005 12:08 PM 0 Comments

Comments [rss]

Sean Ballard

It was fun visiting here. Wishing you a great day! when Cosmos Compute Round Con: , Bad Chips Do or not Game can Give Tournament , Steal Love Kill - that is all that Cards is capable of Collective is feature of Small Plane

modam

parse this:

canseco on espn radio just now:

if raffy does an investigation i think he we will findo ut how corrupt baseball really is. they maniulate the system and destroy athetes' lives. it is a corrup institution"

"raffy used in the past but what they found now was a metablife (?) which could be an imprint lingering form his use up to five years ago or he is being set up."

"no way he would have used since this investigation began."

M1EK

You guys are forgetting the much more awesomer explanation for all this.

Jose Canseco, the EVIL GENIUS THAT HE IS, injected steroids into harmless Flintstone Vitamins, which he then handed out like candy to other sluggers, ten years ago, in order to, now, ten years in the future from ten years ago, sell copies of his book to make up for being best-remembered for getting hit on the head with a baseball for a home run, which was pretty damn cool.

modam

raffy is saying now that he never "KNOWINGLY" took anyhting. so we could have the clear & the cream argument we had with sheffield and bonds, et al. i am very skeptical. now he needs to be worrying about purjury charges.

math geek

Dividing by 2/3 is actually the same as multiplying by 3/2 or 1.5. Don't think we want to do that.

This is pretty sucky; I was hoping at least Palmeiro was telling he truth. He always seemed like a good guy. Guess they're all lying bastards. Except...Canseco?