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That Was So Tabloid!
Because we never turn down a chance to dither on about something we know nothing about on television, this Austinist contributor was just filmed for tonight's 10 o'clock news on KXAN about the underage drinking portrayed in recent episodes of The Real World: Austin, about which we write a very funny recap. We think the reporter's line of questioning will convey the general idea of what this report will be about. It went something like this:
KXAN: What was it like when the Real World came into a bar?
BB: Well, on the few occasions when I, uh, was in, uh, the same bar, it was very quick - people came in, lots of people, then everyone did shots and gladhanded the people on camera.
KXAN: Drinking alcohol?
BB: I imagine it was probably alcohol.
KXAN: Wes and Nehemiah were drinking alcohol?
BB: I personally witnessed Wes drinking a beverage of some sort, yes.
KXAN: Alcohol?
BB: I assume.
KXAN: Drunk?
BB: Possibly. I am no expert. He may have, at one point, been inebriated. Again, I cannot say for sure.
KXAN: And where they being carded?
BB: Well, you see, there were a lot of people. I certainly did not witness anyone being carded, but by the time I was in the middle of it all, they seemed to know one another already, and things just seem to have been handled. Nudge nudge, wink wink. When I said, "nudge nudge, wink wink," just then, what I meant was, I assume ID was checked at the entrance of the bar, where it is traditionally handled, instead of at the bar, in a crowd, when there are lots of people doing shots of Jaeger, the official choice of underage drinkers from Kansas on The Real World: Austin.
...Though I do remember Wes telling me that he was underage.
KXAN: While drinking?
BB: Uh...
KXAN: Drinking alcohol?
BB: Well...
KXAN: HE WAS DRUNK WASN'T HE? DRUNK ON POWER AND FAME! AND OF COURSE ILLEGALLY PURCHASED ALCOHOL!
BB: Do I look really sweaty? I feel sweaty? Can you see the pimple on my chin? I bet you can. My pants are falling down. Can you, uh, the microphone is, uh, stuck in my, uh...
